Monday, November 26, 2012

Challenge #1

One of my main reasons for starting The Good Housewife Project involves my relationship with my husband.  We have known each other for 17 years, and we've definitely had our ups and downs over all those years.  The last few years have been particularly rough on our relationship--I was really unhappy in Texas three years ago, and that unhappiness spilled over into everything for me.  I tried to make the best of a less-than-ideal situation (I didn't know anyone/have many friends in TX, I was really far away from all our friends and family, the weather was disgustingly hot, and we lived in a really crappy town), but I wasn't a great sport about it all the time...  Dan was very stressed in his job in Texas, and it was a really demanding job, so that also took a toll on our couple time and family time.  It felt like Dan and I were at odds a lot, and then I got pregnant unexpectedly and he left for Iraq...  The deployment actually helped us mend some of those frayed edges--we were forced to communicate (via email and via Skype) instead of just go through the motions side by side.  The deployment also contributed to other frays--being apart for a year while raising children is very stressful.  Since Dan got back 1.5 years ago, we've been working hard on our relationship--we've availed ourselves of as many tools to strengthen our marriage as I can think of, and I still feel like we aren't on the same page a lot of the time...and that's hard for both of us.

with my handsome husband on his 30th birthday in 2010

Dan is my husband, and we love each other--always, period.  He and I are a family, and I chose him because he is my best friend and my partner in life.  I still choose him.  Marriage can be wonderful (and our marriage has been), but it's not a cake walk--Dan and I try our best to keep our heads together when things aren't quite right now.

So I started The Good Housewife Project--for me, so that I can channel some of my frustration into something fun and positive for myself, but also for us.  I have high hopes that this Project will help my relationship with Dan--by helping me change my point of view, and by giving me something to focus on besides all the daily pressures.

This week, I'm giving myself a Good Housewife Challenge:  spend the next 7 days being the best wife that I can be for Dan.  I want to embody the newlywed mentality this week, when everything was fresh and easy and light.  Be happy and greet him with a smile when he comes home instead of waving distractedly from the floor while I'm changing a diaper.  Be supportive, listen, and knock off the sarcasm (the #1 hardest thing for me to's ingrained in my personality!).  The house is my domain, so I know I get bossy with him...I'm going to try to back off on the bossiness as well.  I want to just generally make more of an effort--put more of my energy into my relationship with my husband.  I'm hoping that my 7 days of concerted effort will forge the way for a more-permanent shift--something we really need to help us find our way back to wonderful.  :)

Suggested reading for this Challenge--ha ha!

1 comment:

  1. I won't let Rick see this; might find that book in my stocking!!