Weighty Issues: Pre-Babies

**I have a different blog below for today, but I wanted to give you a quick update on Jake and the diaper-free experiment:  He kept his underwear dry ALL NIGHT last night, and woke up with a dry bed!  I am so excited, and he is so proud of himself--it's really great to see him feel so good about something.  :)  Hopefully this trend continues!!  The kids got to watch one TV show this morning--Team Umizoomi, of course!  Now back to my regularly-scheduled blog...**

The holiday season is not a pleasant time to be talking about my weight, especially since I've been decimating my mom's delicious cookies...  Then again, maybe it's the perfect time--I need to be thinking about my weight so that things don't get out of hand with the cookies, and so that I can have a plan of attack when the holidays are over.  After reading all about how I stuff my face with junk food, I thought a little background might help you understand where I've been in reference to my self-assessment of my physical appearance, and where I am right now in my feelings about how I look and how much I weigh.  There have been very few times in my life when I've been happy with how I looked--and I think this is a feeling a lot of women have, which makes me sad.  I've never been a stick-thin girl--I am short, and throughout my childhood, I had more of the build of an athlete.  I was always extremely active, so I don't have a problem with my build--I reveled in being athletic.

My 5th Grade Class Photo--I'm dead center in the 2nd row

In 5th grade, two defining things happened that really altered my view of myself.  At 10 years old, I don't really think I had a concept of how other people looked at me, and whether or not their view of me was favorable or unfavorable--I was blissfully unaware of the cultural pressures put on girls and women.  I had a crush on a boy named Luke Cooper (if you read this, Luke, I'd love to know what you're up to now!), and we ate lunch at the same table every day.  I don't even remember the context, but one day at lunch, he referred to me as "thunder thighs," and everyone laughed.  I was pretty hurt, obviously, and totally confused--Luke liked me, and we even went to the movies after that (LA Story with my best friend Sarah and his twin brother--a double date, with my mom chaperoning!).  I didn't really know what "thunder thighs" were, but I gathered that it wasn't a compliment or attractive, and I had them.  The second thing was that I ran for 5th grade class president, and when I won, a girl who I had gone to school with and known since kindergarten told me that I only won because I had breasts and none of the other girls did, so all the boys voted for me (or my breasts, as it were).  I developed fairly early, so she was right about that aspect--but I didn't know to be self-conscious about that fact until she pointed it out.  Hello, body image issues.

Just turned 14 in this picture, with my lifelong friend Brynne

I took dance and gymnastics starting when I was 4 years old.  In high school, I was a cheerleader and ran track (100m and 200m, long jump, triple jump, and sprint relays--my thunder thighs got me all the way to the State meet in triple jump!).  I was a base in cheerleading, meaning I lifted the lighter girls--so by definition, I was not a lighter girl.  I was not happy with my weight, even though obviously I was healthy, strong, and active.  Looking back at pictures of myself in high school now, I wonder what the heck I didn't like about myself back then--I was probably thinner than I have ever been, and I looked great!  It's a testament to the fact that our minds and our feelings toward ourselves can really alter how we view ourselves at any given time--I wasn't happy with my appearance, and that is what the mirror reflected back to me.  I tried out for the cheerleading squad in college, in the first few weeks of my first year at UVa--I had been a 2-time All American cheerleader and I was a decent tumbler, so I thought I had a pretty good shot at making the squad...until they asked all of us to step on a scale they brought into the room after the very first practice.  I knew right then that I wouldn't make it--I walked up to the front of the line and was weighed first, and then I hung around to watch every other girl weigh in because I wanted to know where I stood in this ridiculous competition.  I was the 4th heaviest girl in the room--and out of hundreds of smaller girls with similar abilities, that means you're out.  I weighed 128 pounds.  Yep, that messed with my head.

So happy--I LOVED my dress (and still do!)  :)

Fast forward to my wedding day.  I thought about losing some weight before walking down the aisle in my wedding dress, but honestly, I was so happy that my weight didn't really matter to me and I didn't stress about it.  I felt great and beautiful on that day, and that's all I wanted.  The next morning, Dan and I took an early flight to our honeymoon destination, still giddy from the reality of being husband and wife.  We were being cute and having fun just talking about the wedding and the guests and our new life together when I happened to look down at my lap and notice that my favorite pair of Gap boot cut jeans that I wore practically every day were getting threadbare along the inner seam of my thighs.  I lamented that my favorite jeans were getting holey, to which my dear, sweet, well-meaning new husband replied, "Well, maybe you should work out more often."  What???  His comment caught me so off guard--I thought my jeans were just getting old and hadn't yet equated the fact that the jeans were wearing out where my thighs rubbed together...but apparently he had, and the next logical step to solving the problem would be to make my thighs smaller and reduce the rubbing by working out.  My thunder thighs were back...even though they never left, now I was worried about them because my husband thought they should be smaller.  Ouch.  For reference, my husband has an unfortunate habit of putting his foot in his mouth, when he really is a sweet, nice guy.

AmericaontheMove.org made walking a fun way to get healthier for me!

About 6 months into our marriage, I went to the doctor for a physical and discovered that I had high cholesterol and high blood pressure.  I joked that I had become fat and happy after our wedding--Dan would surprise me with McDonald's fries after work, we discovered ColdStone, we ate out a lot as couples with no kids can do.  I put on some pounds--my sister got married 3 months after I did, and I almost didn't fit into my bridesmaid dress for her wedding (it was so close--Dan wanted to give up on the zipper, but that was not an option!).  The health stuff wasn't funny, though, and it really freaked me out--how could I be 24 years old and have high blood pressure and cholesterol?  I started working out (not something I enjoy at all, so it was a struggle)--I would go to our apartment complex gym in the mornings before work, and I got a pedometer and started walking...everywhere.  Walking was way more my style than sweating it up with strangers at the gym.  I worked from home for HP at the time, and I walked circles in my office while on conference calls.  I ended up losing 18 pounds from my effort--it took 6 months, but I felt really good about myself!  I still wanted to lose more weight, but my blood pressure and cholesterol were back to normal.  This was right about the time that we moved to Ohio--I was feeling healthy and ready to have our first baby...  I got pregnant 3 months after we moved into our new house.  :)

July 2005--three months before I got pregnant with Abby

Starting the Day Off Right...kinda

The experiment is not going well.  Jake infuriated me during naptime yesterday--he did not take a nap, which was fine, but when I went up to get him dressed so that we could take Abby to her dance class, I discovered that the diaper he was wearing at naptime was soaking wet.  He was awake the whole time, mind you, so it's not like the diaper accidentally got wet while he was sleeping...  I had even talked to him multiple times over the monitor in his room, reminding him to keep the diaper dry while he was playing.  I was so angry--he just isn't getting it!  I took his favorite stuffed animal away from him until he can learn to keep his diaper dry.  So now there's no TV and no stuffed animal.  This experiment is spiraling.

Jingle, Jake's favorite stuffed animal

At bedtime last night, I upped the ante--I'm just so tired of the back and forth.  I told Jake that I was going to strip his bed down to his mattress only (no bed friends, of which he has about 50, no sheets, no covers) and put him to bed naked so that he could figure out how to control himself without me having to clean up a big mess every time...to which he started howling.  He did not like that idea in the slightest.  Dan said I may have scarred him for life with the suggestion.  To pacify him and stop the screaming, I agreed that he could wear undies...but nothing else.  As I have mentioned in a previous post, the child loves his pjs.  He refuses to sleep or take a nap in anything other than pjs...so conceding to undies only didn't do much to stop the crying.  We finally agreed to clear his bed of all his bed friends (the plush ones can't be washed without risk), leave the sheets and blankets on the bed, and put him in undies under his pjs.  I told him that I would take him to the bathroom before I went to bed, and he's to call for me as soon as he wakes up in the morning so that I can take him to the bathroom again.  I went into his room at 11pm last night, and was so happy to discover that he was dry!  I went in again at 4am, and again, he was dry.  I had high hopes for the morning, especially after that successful 4am pit stop.  It was smooth both times taking him into the bathroom and getting him to go right back to sleep, so I was glad for that--this was the one part about potty training Abby to stay dry through the night that I did not enjoy...the late-night possible waking-up-forever bathroom run.  I hate bothering sleeping kids--there's something so innately wrong about it!

Jake woke up at 7am this morning, and didn't say anything to me on the monitor--I told him to call me as soon as he woke up so that I could take him into the bathroom again.  I went into his room at 7:15am, and he immediately informed me that he was soaking wet...as was his bed.  Sigh...  The three hours from 4am to 7am shouldn't have made him feel a desperate need to go, so I think he just totally forgot that he was wearing undies.  That's exactly why I wanted him to sleep with no pjs on, and just undies--so that he would know something was different and would be able to see his undies--he's so used to having that diaper on for security...but no more!  I told him this morning that he won't be wearing a diaper again ever.  I may have to wash sheets every morning, but he has to get the hang of this sometime...right?

On the plus side of the morning, because we were up and going so early, Dan and I decided to work out together before work/bus stop.  We put the kids in Jake's room (all three were up for some odd reason--our kids are not early risers!), and headed down to our basement--I got on the treadmill (after throwing in a load of wet laundry, of course), and Dan got on our elliptical.  It was only 25 minutes, but at least it was something--and something is better than the nothing I've been doing!

this chick looks way happier than I was this morning, which says a lot

Too Much TV

It was a long weekend in the Christmas card factory, but all our cards have gone out in the mail...so the factory is officially closed until next year!  Hooray!  I meant to write a little more about our much-maligned Christmas card newsletter in my last post, but got sidetracked by the cards themselves.  I wanted to say that I love our newsletter, and refuse to stop writing it even though I know some folks think it's way too long (my own brother and sister-in-law included!) because it provides a way for me to chronicle each year in the life of our family.  I love re-reading our newsletters from previous years and remembering our experiences as a family--I don't journal or scrapbook, so our Christmas card serves that function for me...really, the recipients should be thankful that I somehow pare down 12 months into two pages.  :)  Also, I know there are other Christmas newsletter junkies out there, just like me, and I hope many of them are on our mailing list and actually do appreciate my effort!  Okay, enough about that.

We're in the middle of an unplanned experiment at our house.  I wrote previously about Jake's inability to get out of diapers, and my frustration with that problem...but I haven't yet written about my children's (and my) love of TV.  Moms everywhere will tell you that their kids don't watch TV, whether or not it's true...I am not that mom.  My kids watch way too much TV.  I admit it, and I'll give you a brief history on how this all happened.  When Abby was born, we had such high ideals for our parenting--I don't think we ever agreed out loud on no TV until she was 2, or only 30 minutes a day, but those recommendations were at the back of my mind as we embarked on parenthood.  Abby turned out to be a very clingy kid--Dan and I had very little peace, especially in the evenings (aka, the dinnertime witching hour).  When she was about 6 months old, we discovered Baby Einstein--more specifically, Baby Einstein's Baby Newton video (all about shapes!).  That darn shape clown gave Dan and me our first quiet dinner since she was born, with Abby happily engrossed in a totally different room than where we were eating (in actuality, she was less than 5 feet from me, but technically she was in the living room and we were in the dining room).  Dan and I didn't even speak to each other the whole meal for fear that we would break the spell--we just gestured excitedly at each other and were in awe of how that clown gave us back some of the space for which we were desperate.

I still know that song by heart, and the dancing clown still makes me so happy!  I'm tempted to show that clip to Abby now to see if she remembers it at all...that girl watched A LOT of Baby Newton.  After Baby Newton broke the ice, I allowed some Sesame Street in the house--it was okay for her to watch TV, as long as it was educational, not annoying (crucial for Mommy's sanity!), and on PBS.  I had some standards--no Barney for us!  Sesame Street was a daily staple at our house back then, but we were also super busy--Abby and I had a very active social calendar in our Ohio moms' group, so we weren't home to watch much TV.

Fast forward to Texas, and a 2nd baby.  We were home a lot more after Jake was born, in part because we had a newborn in the house, and in part because we knew fewer people and therefore had a less-active calendar.  We watched a lot of DVDs at this point (Strawberry Shortcake and princesses were a favorite for our 3-year-old...and still are now that she's 6!), and we branched out to a few more PBS shows--Sid the Science Kid became one of Abby's favorites at that time.  Again, educational TV...no junk.  We threw in a Clifford every once in a while, and maybe a Curious George.  Still not a huge variety of shows, but we did spend a good amount of time in front of the TV while I was feeding Jake and needed a way to keep Abby occupied.  What I loved about our house in Texas was that our playroom and our TV room were separate, so the kids could play without constantly asking to watch TV.

it was supposed to be a living/dining room, but it was the perfect playroom!

Fast forward to Virginia and a 3rd kid...there's a TV in our playroom now.  I knew it wasn't a good idea when we moved in, but we did it anyway because I wanted a dedicated kid space that didn't infringe on the adult space in this house (there's so little adult space here), and we bought new living room furniture...meaning I didn't really want the kids all over our nice new couch with food while they were watching their shows.  Around this time, my sister told us about a show called Team Umizoomi that we should check out--I was totally hesitant because it's not a PBS show, but I thought I would give it a try...branch out a little.  The kids fell in deep smit with that show.  Absolute adoration.  The first thing Alex says when he wakes up in the morning is, "Watch Bot?"  And I love it because it's educational (even though it's not PBS...)--Alex knows all his numbers because of that show (that's kind of embarrassing to admit. but it's true).  Our DVR is constantly 80% full of kids shows...Umizoomi, Clifford, WordWorld, SuperWhy, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Mike the Knight, Doc McStuffins...we went a little nuts when we discovered other TV channels.  I try to limit the hours of TV, but sometimes when the boys are fighting and cooped up in the house, it's so easy to turn on a show and be able get my stuff done.  They don't watch any of the fluffy shows with few redeeming qualities (Spongebob or whatever those other annoying shows are), but I won't sugarcoat it: they watch a lot of TV.

Millie, Bot, and Geo--they have mighty math powers!

Now, what does all of this have to do with our current household experiment?  Well, last weekend, I told Jake that it was time for him to keep his diaper dry at naptime and bedtime.  I'm fully confident that he can do this--it's just laziness or a security issue, and I need to help him get over it and transition to underwear 24/7.  Without even thinking before I opened my mouth, I told him that he could watch his TV shows if his diaper stays dry...but not if it is wet.  We are now in Day 7 of No TV.  Seriously, the kid is stubborn.  The first day, it felt like I was punishing everyone--Abby was very upset to not see her Clifford during breakfast, and I thought my day would be ruined without the TV helping keep the peace.  It's not really fair to deprive the other kids of their beloved TV because of Jake's behavior, but really, it's just TV--it's not like I'm withholding all their food until Jake gets his act together.  There are worse things that could happen.  I just didn't really envision that Jake would hold out this long--he actually says, "I don't want to watch TV" when I try to remind him that if he keeps his diaper dry, he can earn his TV back.  (Oooh, that kid!)  I'm not sure this experiment is working, but I'm in it to win it at this point--I will outlast my 3-year-old.  I've actually been pleasantly surprised at how the TV-less days have been going--Jake and Alex are doing really well playing together (with the occasional screaming/hitting/crying fights, of course), and I'm happy to not have the arguing over what show to watch, whose turn it is to pick, and the constant noise.  I kinda feel like a better mother without the TV.  Of course, when Jake finally figures out this whole keeping-the-diaper-dry thing, I'm going to have to let them earn back some TV, but I think this experiment is teaching me that I can limit the TV time, and I should limit it...the world won't fall apart and we might all learn to get along a little better with less TV.  What's your bet on how many days this experiment will drag on before Jake is diaper-free?

The List vs. the Time Suckers

I wrote my list of things to do today last night before I went to bed...and I think I may have been a little ambitious.  I had sort of a dual-list going--I wrote down the things that I really wanted to get done that have been bugging me or that needed to get done today at the top of the list, and then I wrote down my hopefully-will-get-done tasks at the bottom of the list.  Then I realized that I had a few more things to add that needed to get done, but I had already drawn my line and there was no room at the top of the list...so I wrote those extra things at the bottom, and my list got all jumbled.  I almost rewrote the list entirely (yes, that's seriously how anal I am), but I opted to just go to bed and deal with an imperfect list.  The list was a good motivator this morning--I felt very on-task as I consulted the list and starting checking things off.  I wrote a few "gimmes" on there that HAVE to get done every day so that I would guarantee myself the satisfaction of crossing at least a few things off...is that cheating?  I hope not, because it felt great to cross a few things off pretty early in the morning!  I still have a lot pending on the list and the day is quickly getting away from me.

my 4pm progress...not great!

Even with the list, I've been distracted--Jake's train needed new batteries (both the remote and the train itself...where did I put the 9V batteries??), I posted a bunch of stuff for sale on the sale site here and people are coming by to look at things and buy stuff (very time-consuming!), and during Jake's nap time, he opted not to sleep and instead opened up his piggy bank and showered his whole room with coins.  So much for my getting-stuff-done time.  Just as I was coming back downstairs from that clean up effort, the biggest time-suck of them all arrived in the mail: our Christmas cards.  I knew they were coming (hooray for me for being on top of things and ordering them already!), but now they are here...and I have to open the annual one-woman Christmas card factory.  The factory hours are awful and the pay is literally nothing, but it's a dirty job and someone has to do it.  It's such a process--I have to print our (much made fun of) Christmas newsletter, fold said newsletter in a way that it fits well in the slighty-too-small envelope, write a personal message/sign each newsletter, stuff the newsletter and photo card into the envelope, address each envelope, stamp each envelope, seal all the envelopes, and mail them.  It is going to take me hours, and honestly, I don't even want to open the box and start the process!  The box is currently taunting me on the counter.

such a menacing little box

Despite all my protests, I really love Christmas cards.  I love sending them to 80 of our closest friends and family all over the country (and world!)--some folks we've known since we were born, some folks we've met at previous duty stations, some folks getting our card for the first time this year.  I write a ridiculous Christmas newsletter chronicling our family adventures by month for the whole year--Dan endlessly derides my efforts and says no one wants to read about our lives in such detail, but I don't really care.  :)  I seriously love reading other people's newsletters--I get disappointed when we get a photo card with nothing written on it...  I think Christmas cards should be personal--a (somewhat quaint) way to connect with friends and family in an impersonal world.  I love reading cards and getting a little glimpse into their lives and years.  When I visit my parents' house around Christmastime, I scrounge their counters for the Christmas cards that they have received, and then I read them--I don't even care if I know the people.  Cards are one of my favorite holiday traditions, so I guess I'd better open that box and get busy.  Hopefully I won't disappear into the black hole that is preparing Christmas cards for mailing...if you don't hear from me tomorrow, please send a search party to save me from my misery!  ;)

Mom Brain

I need a list.  My memory is phenomenal for things like song lyrics and the ridiculous things that Dan says that I can use against him at a later date, but other than that, I need a list to help me remember things.  I use a list every time I go grocery shopping--I would be lost without it.  I use a list every time we go somewhere, even if it's just for the day, to make sure I don't forget something crucial, like Alex's favorite lamby or the kids' coats.  For long trips, like our crazy vacation this past summer (to NY for a wedding, then to Disney World for 4 days, then to the beach for a week), I had 4 typed pages of stuff we needed for each leg.  I just am a list person.

A snippet of my Disney/beach packing list...

My need for a list has gotten worse over the last few years, but I've really noticed my memory failing me lately.  I call it Mom Brain, and it has gotten worse with each kid.  Michelle Duggar must be like a lobotomy patient by now.  Even with my trusty list, I sometimes forget things...which never ceases to baffle me.  If it's on my list, then it should be in the car with us...but somehow that's not always the case.  Sometimes I forget to check my list...which makes me wonder if I need a list to remind me to check my list.  This is not good.  My memory clearly isn't as good as it once was, and I'm starting to think that I need a daily list of some kind to keep me on track.  In order to be a Good Housewife and feel like I'm accomplishing something (anything!) every day, I need to be able to focus--a list might help me do that.  Here is what my mornings usually look like (based entirely on this morning's particular nonsense!):

• Wake up, get the kids' breakfasts and make Abby's lunch (I just recently wrote myself a list for her lunchbox contents, because even though it's been the same every day for the last 2 years, I still struggle to remember when I'm half asleep)

Abby's lunch list...on the fridge!

• Get the boys out of their diapers--I need more wipes, so I grab a new pack and throw the empty refill in the direction of my computer
• Start emptying the dishwasher
• Discover that I'm really hungry--sit down to have my breakfast
• Check email and Facebook/news/blogs while I'm eating
• Remember that I need to enter Pampers Gifts to Grow points--grab the empty wipe refill bags that are laying around everywhere, and start to enter the codes
• Jake needs to go to the bathroom--help him, check on the boys to make sure the playroom isn't a disaster, play with them for a while
• Remember that I haven't finished emptying the dishwasher--go back to that project
• There's a stink bug flying around my kitchen--grab the dust buster and chase it down
• While I have the dust buster out, I may as well get up some of the dinner mess from yesterday in the dining room
• Wipe down the dining room table while I'm out there
• Find coupons that I was cutting over the weekend still sprawled out on the table...sit down to finish that project and get the coupons put away
• With the coupons are a bunch of old newspapers and junk mail--pick them up and put them in the recycling
• Geez, the kitchen counters are covered in paperwork, too...gather up the junk and go through Abby's endless school papers to figure out what to keep and what to recycle
• Jake and Alex are screaming--go into the playroom to put out the fire, play with the boys for a bit
• Remember that I haven't started the laundry yet, which I needed to do first thing this morning and it's already 10:30am...go down to the basement and get a load in
• What was I doing?  Oh yes, the dishwasher--I've only gotten the bottom rack put away thus far, so I start working on the top rack
• Call my mom, and start having a conversation about weekend plans...go to check my calendar, discover it's not on the side of the fridge, remember that I started putting dates into it this weekend and never finished
• Locate calendar in mess on kitchen counter, start entering all the kids' activities...I'm still working on February
• Hear my computer dinging--I forgot to log out of Facebook, and my sister is talking to me...go see what she has going on and realize I never entered all those Pampers codes
• Enter more Pampers codes...and while I'm at it, round up all our Kellogg's cereal boxes and enter those codes into the Kellogg's Family Rewards website
• See the two SoftSoap dispensers on the table next to my computer--I never made it to the bathroom with them after I went shopping this weekend...pick them up and put them away in the bathroom
• Where is the bath mat?  Oh no!  I washed it and left it out on the back deck to dry yesterday because it was such a nice day...but it rained last night and I forgot to bring it inside.  Ugh...
• Retrieve the wet bath mat from the back deck...go down to the basement and put it in the dryer
• I can't even walk in the basement because there is so much stuff on the floor--open a garbage bag and discover clothes that my sister-in-law let the boys borrow from my nephew...go through those to figure out what fits and what doesn't, throw the clothes in piles to be washed
• Jake and Alex are whining because they are hungry--look at the clock and realize that it's noon already and I haven't started making lunch!  Where are their plates?  Oh yes, still in the dishwasher...

these three monkeys have stolen my brain

 
My days go on and on like this, and I wonder why I never get anything done!  Dan says I bring it on myself, because none of these things are pressing or crucial (little does he know how much life would go off the rails if I didn't do most of these things...) and because I need to just finish what I start instead of bouncing around from task to task.  I say that's way easier said than done with you have a 2-year-old and a 3-year-old constantly interrupting your thoughts and plans.  I don't really think he has room to talk, anyway, because he's one of the most absent-minded people I know.  I do recognize that my easy distraction detracts from my effectiveness around the house, so I think maybe a list will help me.  I'm going to try writing a list of tasks for tomorrow morning before I go to bed tonight, and I'll report back on my progress...perhaps being able to scratch things off my list will remind me that I am actually a productive person, even if it takes me a few detours.

Holiday Fun

I'm a little lost with what to do with myself since the Challenge ended.  Trust me, I have plenty to do--but like I told you, I work better when I have a project!  I did invite Dan to guest column on my blog after he does a Good Husband Challenge for a week...not sure if he'll take me up on it, but wouldn't that be fun?  ;)  I know it would be fun for me!

Now that I'm less distracted by the Challenge, I'm focusing on all the other things that need to get done around the house and feeling the stress.  I totally love this time of year, but sometimes it all gets a little overwhelming!  Case in point: our Elf on a Shelf, Herbie, is visiting right now.  Every once in a while, that darn elf is so forgetful and doesn't remember to head back to the North Pole and then reappear somewhere else in the house after the kids go to bed.  It got so bad that I had to set a reminder timer for him on my phone...  Abby just informed me yesterday that she thinks Herbie goes to Elf School after she goes to bed, and his teacher is Santa!  Not one to miss an opportunity, I told her that we'd better make sure she gets to bed on time from now on, because we wouldn't want Herbie to get in trouble for being late to school.  Ha ha!  :)  Here's Herbie hanging out in Jake's room last week--his first foray into Jake's room (in two years) because Jake can't be trusted not to knock him down and ruin Herbie's magic...  I think Abby might faint if she came into Jake's room and saw him holding Herbie...not kidding.  She's super protective of that elf.  Herbie found a safe(ish) place to perch in Jake's room this year, and managed to survive untouched.  As an added bonus, Jake took a great nap that day because Herbie was right there, staring at his bed!  :)

above Jake's dresser...safe from curious hands!

I also have yet to do the kids' Santa video, which I do every year for them from the Portable North Pole--such an awesome thing to have to motivate their behavior...it cracks me up every time.  You can personalize all aspects of the message Santa gives, and I have had lots of fun with it over the years.  Abby has always been on the "nice list," and Jake has yet to make that list...two different children entirely!  Abby has her naughty moments, but she's such the responsible first born.  Jake obviously has his nice moments, but he's our high-spirited little monkey!  This year will be Alex's first video from Santa...I'm not sure if he'll be naughty or nice at this point.  He learns everything he knows from Jake!  The videos are obviously a project that I have to complete when the kids aren't around, so either naptime or after they go to bed...and I haven't gotten to it yet.  Maybe today?  Here's Jake's from 2010--absolutely the best one ever, because Jake was almost 2 and totally ornery with a BIG temper, and it scared him into shape!  Hysterical.

So it's Christmas fun that I've brought on myself that adds a little stress to this time of year...but I wouldn't have it any other way!  I don't remember Christmases being as enjoyable until we had our own kids, other than when I was a kid myself--it's just wonderful to see the magic of the season from their eyes.  We drove around looking at Christmas lights on our military installation this past weekend, and the excitement from all three kids was so much adorable.  I couldn't help laughing every time Alex said, "It's awesome!" or, "Those are my favorites!"  :)  So cute!  I'm probably going to pull about 20 late nighters between now and Christmas to get everything done--we still have to wrap all our presents and put together a huge train table because Santa delivered it a little early and we're doing him a favor by putting it together (you can thank us later, Santa), but I'm going to try my best to not let the stressful aspects take away from the magical ones.

Abby writes notes for Herbie to take to the North Pole--this was last night's!

Challenge #1 Done!

Well, my very first Good Housewife Challenge has concluded!  This weekend was also included in the Challenge, and I have to say, it was rough.  I had a lot of things on my plate for the weekend, so Dan and I hardly saw each other.  He let me sleep in a little on Saturday morning, which was wonderful, and then I headed straight for our basement/garage to tackle a project that has been looming for the last 1.5 years: going through all the boxes and mess down there.  This is supposed to be a joint project for Dan and I to do together, but for 1.5 years, we've managed to put it off.  We did actually go down there with much determination this past July, only to lose power about 10 minutes after we started working due to a terrible storm...knocked out power to our house for 4 days, and also knocked out any motivation we had for the project we had been dreading.  Good excuse to put it off again!  Five months later, I decided I just needed to get down there and get started--some of the kids' Christmas presents are lost among the boxes, so it's kind of become crucial at this point!  I spent 7 hours down there on Saturday, going through random boxes that included my old college paperwork, my original American Girl doll accessories (I had Samantha, which I've now passed on to Abby, so she was super excited that I discovered Samantha's bed), and 16 million Winnie the Pooh items...I'm not kidding.  16 million might be an exaggeration, but I used to collect Winnie the Pooh, and I had a very fortunate upbringing that included a mom who really loved to shop...which makes me look like a weird Winnie the Pooh memorabilia hoarder 10 years later.  I also uncovered my Cabbage Patch doll collection--Dan was totally unaware that I had one...and quite frankly, I had forgotten I had so many as well.  Here's a picture of one of my more-horrifying finds:

yes, it's a clown Cabbage Patch doll

After the kids went to bed Saturday night, Dan came down to the garage (aka, my cold dungeon) for the first time all day to check out my progress/damage.  He wasn't impressed, but it really does take a long time to sift through your childhood memories, you know?  I still have a lot of work to do, but at least I got started.  I thought Dan was going to help me go through things when he came down, but he just stood there skeptically watching me...until after about 10 minutes, he grabbed a trash bag and started attempting to throw things away.  This is when The Good Housewife Challenge #1 came to a violent end, because I was very annoyed that he didn't bother to help and just wanted to come in and start chucking things that I had been laboring over.  Granted, I'm not sure why I was waffling over whether to keep a box of specimen slides, unless I'm contemplating a Dexter-like future where I store one drop of each of my victim's blood on carefully hidden slides...but that wasn't the point.  I not-very-politely told Dan to scram, lest he become my first victim.  He unwisely opted to stay, so I gave him a Rubik's Cube that I had found in one of the boxes, and that kept him out of my hair until I decided to retire for the evening.  It was almost midnight, after all.  This Housewife gets less accommodating when she is tired.

I love these books--I think that says something about me...

I attempted to redeem myself on the Challenge front on Sunday, but again, I was barely in the same room with Dan.  I did let him sleep in, though, so I should definitely earn points for that since I was up way later than he was!  I started reading a book this weekend...and by started, I mean started and finished, since I can never read a few pages and then let a book sit for weeks on end.  Even if it's a bad book that I'm not enjoying, I will still lose sleep to finish it and put myself out of my bad-book-induced misery.  The book I read this weekend was an amazing book, so I didn't want to put it down...and didn't until about 3am on Sunday morning when I got to the page that read "The End."  It really was a fantastic book, but I was so tired on Sunday.  After Dan woke up from his decadent extra few hours of sleep, I ran to the commissary and literally ran through it picking up the food on my list because I had so much stuff to do on Sunday.  After I got home, I spent 3 hours cleaning all three bathrooms in the house, and then got ready to go meet my family for dinner after my niece's dance recital--my parents had picked up Abby to watch the recital with them, so Dan and I brought the boys to meet them for dinner after the boys' naps.  We had a nice dinner (all seven cousins love each other and love hanging out, even for just a short while!), and then we got home and put the kids in bed...and Dan promptly followed because he had to be up early for work today.  So yeah, we hardly talked to each other on Sunday--but I did buy him food and clean the bathrooms and also remembered to wash his uniforms, so I think that makes me a Good Housewife (but possibly not a Good Wife, as I have learned from his list...).

I think Challenge #1 was very enlightening for me--I learned that being pleasant with my husband makes for generally easier, happier days for all 5 of us.  I'm pretty sure I already knew that, but the Challenge served as a good reminder, and I'm hoping to carry forward my agreeable countenance for as long as I can (maybe forever? ha ha!).  As mothers have been saying since the beginning of time, it really doesn't hurt to be nice.  I also learned that Dan doesn't expect the same things of me as I do of myself--I have a lot of high expectations for my own behavior, and feel a lot of pressure that comes with those expectations...but if I don't hit the mark every time, he won't mind as long as I'm still smiling and showing him that I love him.  I think the simple gestures, if you make sure to include a few in every day, are what grease the wheels of this whole marriage thing.  If I think of it in those terms--aiming for a few compliments or kisses or smiles every day--it seems more manageable to be a Good Wife (or at least a better wife than I was being)...after 8 years, I just needed a refresher course.  Of course, I'm still not a Great Wife (oh geez, am I going to have to start another blog with another quest when this one is over?  Imagined first post:  What Makes Something Great as Opposed to Good?), nor will I be a Good Wife all the time, but at least I know a little better now where to put my effort.  My husband needs a supportive partner who makes time for him, prioritizes our relationship, and doesn't always cook chicken...so other than the chicken part, I think I got this.