Cake Craziness

Nothing like a whole post about cakes when I'm trying to lose some weight!  My sweet Jake turned 4 last week, and we had his birthday party at my parents' new house over the weekend.  He has grown into such a big boy, and is hitting more milestones every day--like parents always say, it's hard to believe how fast the time has flown.  Here he is on his actual birthday--we went out to dinner with Dan's parents to celebrate.  :)

my sweet 4-year-old!

Jake's party was Jake and the Neverland Pirates themed--my kids enjoy that show, but if Jake had had his way, we would have thrown him another train party (he's obsessed)...his 3rd birthday was a Thomas party.  I didn't want to do a repeat party, so I chose Jake for him, and he was happy with it.  Since I'm not a baker year-round, the one thing I really enjoy doing for my kids' birthdays is their cakes.  I had never decorated a cake before Abby's first birthday party, so I started small with a Wilton cake pan--and lots of my mom's help.

Abby's first birthday cake!

Her second birthday cake was also a Wilton pan, and this time, both my mom and my grandmother helped me out because we were running late (what else is new??).

Abby's 2nd birthday cake--Abby Cadabby from Sesame Street

Abby's third birthday party was a princess party, and Dan and I were on our own in Texas to create something special for her--we settled on a castle cake kit that we found at the store.  Dan helped me level the cake and he carved bricks in the icing for me.  He then decided that he doesn't really like doing cakes...at all!

Abby's 3rd birthday cake--princesses everywhere!

I blame Abby's 4th birthday cake entirely on my mom--we were living with my parents at the time while Dan was deployed, and she and Abby went to Michael's one day and came home with the Wilton Romantic Castle cake kit...apparently Abby saw it in the store and decided that's the cake she wanted, so my mom got it for her.  I was 9 months pregnant with Alex (we literally had her birthday party 3 days before he was born!), and I spent probably 2 weeks researching how I could pull off this gargantuan cake.  There are entire blogs dedicated to this cake, if you can believe it--and thank goodness, because I never could have done it without reading what worked for other people and getting good ideas from them.  My mom and I spent 3 entire days on this cake (even my dad got involved--when the directions called for dowel rods in the turrets, I enlisted his service!), starting with 330 fondant flowers, and ending with this:

Abby's 4th birthday castle cake

Compare Abby's 3rd birthday castle cake (done entirely by Dan and me) with Abby's 4th birthday castle cake (slaved over by my mom and me), and you will clearly note that my mom is the key behind great cakes!  After that monstrosity of a castle, I went low-key for her 5th birthday with another Wilton cake pan.

Abby's 5th birthday Ariel cake

Abby's 6th birthday cake was made mostly by my grandmother--I like to make the kids' cakes every year, but I made an exception because my grandmother made me this same type of cake for my birthday when I was little, so it's a wonderful tradition that I wanted to let Abby experience as well.  I did help a little with the icing, though!

Abby's 6th birthday Hello Kitty doll cake

Update: To see Abby's 7th birthday Rapunzel cake, click here!  :)
 
I'll show you Alex's cakes next--there have only been two!  :)  (Update: Click here for Alex's 3rd birthday Thomas cake!)  His first birthday cake was a Wilton cake pan--I love those things, and how easy they make it for you to be successful.

Alex's first birthday--Mickey Mouse!

Alex's 2nd birthday cake is my sentimental favorite--Dan drew a picture for me, and I hand-carved it myself into the cake and decorated it all without any instructions.  It wasn't big and fancy, but it's ours and no one has ever had a cake like it!  It was the most ownership I've ever taken over a cake--my mom made the icing for me, but I came up with the idea for the cake, made the cardboard template for carving, and iced it all by myself.  The character is one that Dan created when he was in middle school and has been drawing for me ever since we first met--the kids love him, too.

meet WonderMutt--Alex's 2nd birthday cake!

And now onto Jake's cakes!  His first birthday was in Texas, so again I was on my own.  Our good friend Shauna and her cute kids were visiting from Colorado, and I actually thought I would just make cupcakes and have a small little celebration for him...but at the last minute, I started to feel guilty about not making him a cake!  I googled some easy cake ideas, and my friend Shauna and I took a quick trip to Hobby Lobby after the kids went to bed the night before his birthday.  I worked on the cake for a few hours, and both Dan and Shauna thought I was totally OCD and kept telling me to put the spatula down...it's still a running joke.  :)  I have an affinity for this little cake, because again, it was one I just sort of found at the last minute and went for without any real clue what I was doing.

Jake's first birthday cake--a friendly dinosaur!

For Jake's 2nd birthday, we were living at my parents' house--this was just a month before Dan came home from his deployment.  It was the last major holiday of the deployment, and it felt good--throwing your child birthday parties without your spouse is never fun...nor are any other holidays spent apart.  Jake was obsessed with Bob the Builder at the time, so we actually had to get this Wilton cake pan off ebay, since Wilton doesn't make it anymore!

Bob the Builder for Jake's 2nd birthday!

Jake's 3rd birthday was the Thomas the Tank Engine party--he was in heaven.  This was probably his favorite cake!  It's another Wilton cake pan--I toyed with the idea of trying to do a 3-D train (they do actually make pans for those...), but I cut myself some slack and just went with the flat pan!

Jake's 3rd birthday--all aboard!

And that brings us to this past weekend, and Jake's 4th birthday party.  When I picked the Jake and the Neverland Pirates theme, I started googling right away for cake ideas--there's no Wilton cake pan for this theme yet.  I found the least-intimidating non-fondant cake I could find, and went with it--I've used fondant before, but I'm not very comfortable with it...and buttercream tastes better!  Again, this cake had no instructions--all I had was a picture and an idea of how to get it done, so clearly, 6 years of making cakes has made me more confident in my abilities!  My mom did a ton of the work baking the actual sheet cakes and making the icing for me, and my sister-in-law came over for moral support and to help me flip cakes and make creative decisions.  :)  I just had the job of decorating...which I did for eleven hours to create this cake.  Hover over each picture for a more-detailed description of the process!

the beginnings of a pirate boat--3 sheet cakes!

working on the wood planks

the icing was so thick, it popped my icing bag--TWICE!

working on the back of the cake

Jake's 4th birthday cake--Bucky the Pirate Ship!

Now you know why I don't want to let this cake go to waste and keep eating slices after dinner...so much effort, and it really is delicious!  Thankfully for my Challenge, it will either be all gone soon, or it won't be good for much longer.  :)  This cake and the big castle cake have been my biggest undertakings--and this cake didn't seem like it was going to be all that complicated!  Oh well--it was worth it to see my little boy smile.  Happy 4th, Jake!!

my pirate, with the Neverland map Dan drew

One Pretzel

This week is full of Challenge posts--I am going to try to get one up about Jake's birthday party, but Challenge #2 is forefront in my mind right now, so that's what I'm writing about!  I'm pretty proud of myself so far, although there have been a few bumps in the road even just in these three days.

Day 1 on Monday was okay, but I was definitely feeling some hunger--I ate too few calories for the day, which seems counter-intuitive...but if I've learned anything from years of watching The Biggest Loser, it's that your calories in count as much as your calories out--you have to hit the right balance, or your body won't cooperate!  Even with a pretty big piece of leftover cake from Jake's birthday party, my calorie total for the day was 1051--I'm supposed to eat 1200 a day, and then exercise to get my overall calories for the day down to 953.  I didn't do much exercise on Monday because I wasn't feeling well, but I did do some walking and burned 161 calories doing that, so my overall calorie total was 891.  Of course, I think some of those numbers aren't entirely accurate (I entered the nutrition information for the chicken, and I was unsure about some of the stuff they wanted me to input, and who knows if I burned that many calories walking?), but I do think the WebMD system is a good guide...and a little addicting.

Day 2 was yesterday, and again, I did decently well.  Dan got upset with me at the dinner table, though...we ordered pizza because Abby's school was doing a pizza night fundraiser.  I had two slices from a medium pizza with double pineapple on it...I love pineapple!  After I finished eating, I grabbed my computer and was trying to manually calculate calories--Domino's has a calorie calculator on their website that tells you how many calories your pizza has, but since we ordered double toppings and the WebMD food log wants more information than just calories (cholesterol, fiber, total fat, etc, etc), I had to calculate it all myself using Domino's more detailed nutritional information.  Dan got irritated because I was on my computer while the kids were still sitting at the table eating--granted, most everyone was done, but we try to have a "no distractions" rule at the table (at my instigation!).  I understood why he was annoyed, but I really wanted to know how many calories I had left for the day--I was trying to get the calculations done to see if I could splurge again on a little cake...  Dan didn't really get the urgency (probably because he doesn't really like cake--ha!).  Turns out a medium slice of double pineapple pizza from Domino's is 204 calories--I did all the calculations for you, so you don't have to.  My dinner was around 408 calories, and I went ahead and had a piece of cake--a smaller one than the night before, but still cake.  The funny thing was, after I sliced it and sat down to enjoy, I didn't really feel like eating cake--I mean, I had just had 2 pieces of pizza, so I wasn't all that hungry.  I thought about taking a few bites and tossing the rest...but my old habits came back into play, and I ate the whole slice because it was there and I didn't want to waste good cake.  I knew I should stop eating, but I didn't...something I need to work on.  After dinner, I burned 300 calories treating the grocery store like my personal gym, so my total calories for the day yesterday was 944--1250 from food (not bad), 306 burned at the store.  My percentages of carbs vs. protein vs. sugar was more on target for the day than Day 1, so I felt good about that--still not perfect, but at least I'm more aware of what I'm attempting to do now.

one pretzel...

Last night, I was getting Abby's lunch stuff together and loading the dishwasher--on track to be in bed by midnight--when Dan came downstairs and said he was hungry...  I was pretty darn hungry, too, since the last thing I ate was that piece of cake around 6pm and it was now 11:30pm...but I wasn't going to eat anything because of my no-nighttime-snacking rule, and because it's no good to eat right before you go to bed anyway.  Dan was helping me put Abby's lunch foods in bags, and we put too many pretzels in one of her bags...Dan got frustrated trying to close the bag, so he pulled one pretzel out and said, "Here--eat this!" while handing it to me.  I had been fighting the urge to eat a little of everything I was making for her lunch--carrots, strawberries, Cheez-Its and pretzels...so it made me upset and hurt when Dan tried to sabotage me by handing me that silly little pretzel.  He didn't really get why I was upset--he had just loaded a plate up for himself of pretzels and fruit.  One pretzel isn't the issue, and one pretzel isn't going to break my scale...but it was the principle of not eating anything after 8pm and resisting really strong temptations.  Pretzels are dangerous for me--I can sit with a bag open and munch off and on on them for hours, without realizing how much I have eaten.  Dan had just been talking to me about my plan of action, so I knew he was aware of the no-eating rule...  I was just a little bummed that he's not taking this as seriously as I am--I'm really trying, even when I'm hungry!  I know his weight isn't an issue for him (I have always weighed more than he does, as a wonderful kick to my self-esteem), but I want him to understand what a big deal this is to me.  My hunger late last night reinforced my need to go to bed early--if I'm asleep, I won't feel hungry and overeat.

Today has been good--I'm getting better at spreading out my calories and planning my meals.  I had my usual measured Rice Chex and milk this morning (222 calories total) for breakfast.  I know cereal isn't the healthiest breakfast option, but I just love my cereal--some people drink coffee in the morning, I can't get started without my cereal.  At least it's healthy-ish cereal, right?  I'm not downing a big bowl of Cocoa Pebbles!  For lunch, I made my chicken salad--one 4.5 oz can of Swanson's premium chicken breast in water, 4 tablespoons of Light Miracle Whip, 2 tablespoons of Craisins, 1 tablespoon of slivered almonds, and 10 grapes cut in half.  I entered all the nutritional information from the labels on everything I put in, and the total calories came to 287--I'm pretty excited about that since I make this chicken salad a lot!  Today was the first day I actually used the measuring spoon for every ingredient while making it, and I'm proud of myself for making that extra effort instead of eye-balling it...after measuring, I see that my eyeballs aren't good at portion control!  I'm also pretty impressed with my math skills--I am terrible at measurements, but have been figuring out the numbers for servings to put into WebMD.  Who knew that stuff would come in handy?  ;)

delicious!

Tonight, even though I'm still not feeling well, I'm going to a Zumba class...my first one ever (and maybe my last, depending on how things go!).  A friend of mine teaches at a gym, so she invited me to a free preview class--I'm a little terrified, but in the spirit of the Challenge, I'm going to try it out.  Wish me luck!

Outlining Challenge #2

I've given a lot of thought to how I want to approach my Get Healthy Challenge, and I wanted to come up with a plan that incorporates things that have worked for me in the past, as well as things that I know are manageable...  When I attempt things that simply aren't workable for me right now, I fail.  I have three kids.  I'm a stay-at-home mom, home all day with 2 rambunctious boys.  My days are not my own right now, and I need to carve out time that makes sense to focus on myself.  This has never been easy for me, but I'm determined to try...and not get discouraged when days go by (and they inevitably will) where nothing works out the way I planned.  So here's the rough outline of what I think will work for me--everyone is different, so I don't know that this would translate to anyone else's efforts!  And I'm not sure how successful I will be, so I will probably be tweaking things along the way.

• Enter my daily food intake into my WebMD food journal...make sure I'm cognizant of everything going in my mouth, and gain an understanding of how it all breaks down and where I can make improvements.  Like, I know I eat too many carbs and not enough protein, for example.

oops...that piece of Jake's birthday cake after dinner last night did me in!

• Enter my daily physical activity--be that exercise or just the housework that makes up my every day life (going up and down the stairs a million times with loads of laundry has to count for something, right??).  Try to find ways throughout the day to increase my movement and activity level.

this is my idea of lifting weights

• Dedicate at least 30 minutes to real exercise at least 4 times a week--Jillian Michaels videos, my treadmill, the elliptical (if I can make my feet not go numb), walks outside when the weather is nice...whatever it takes, but actual exercise where I can zone out and work on burning calories.  I have been running on my treadmill in previous exercise efforts, but I'm not sure that's the right exercise for me--for one, I hate running, and for two, my knees really bother me.  I may be a power walker from here on out!

• Drink more water.  WebMD says I should be drinking 64 ounces a day, to maintain health and curb hunger.  I already drink a lot of water, but I'll make that 64 ounces my daily goal. 

• Measure my food.  This may seem silly, but my biggest problem with food is that I way overindulge...way overindulge.  Yesterday morning, I got out a measuring cup and measured one cup of Rice Chex and one cup of milk for my breakfast--not only does this help me figure out my calorie intake, but it stops me from mindlessly pouring bowl after bowl of cereal while checking my email.  Today, I measured some peanut butter to put on apple slices at lunchtime--otherwise, I just lose track of how much I'm putting in my mouth.

measuring is essential for my success!

• No eating after the kids go to bed.  The kids go to bed at 8pm, and the time after they are out of sight is my biggest difficulty food-wise.  After a long day, I deserve a sweet treat...or 30.  I've already stopped buying ice cream to cut myself off, but like a true junkie, I find ways to indulge my sweet tooth.  Old chocolate from 2 Easters ago is not out of play when I'm on the hunt far back in my cabinets for something to eat after the kids go to bed.  It would be comical if it wasn't so desperate and depressing.

• Go to bed before midnight.  I love to sleep, and 8 hours of sleep every night will help me be healthier and happier during the day, and give me more energy to get done what I need to get done.  By going to bed by midnight, I'm also cutting myself off from those long late-night hours when I get hungry and go hunting for a snack.

So that's my plan in a nutshell.  Like I said, I'll be tweaking it as this Challenge goes on, because I'm sure some things won't work for me, or the things that work for me in the beginning won't be as effective later in the process, so I'll need to modify and change things up.  This won't be a quick fix--I'm typing that mostly for my benefit, because last time, my healthy effort only lasted 10 days because I got discouraged and bored (and sidetracked by candy!).  This time around, I need to be in it for the long haul--if I consistently lose 2 pounds a week every week until I hit my goal weight, I will be at 128 pounds in mid-May.  However, that's unrealistic--there will be some weeks when I lose 2 pounds, and others when I won't.  I could go weeks without losing any pounds--you just never know how your body will react as it tries to get used to a new routine.  So I need to be gentle with myself and with my expectations, and stick with it!

Challenge #2: Get Healthy

The Good Housewife Challenge #2 starts TODAY, and focuses on getting myself healthier and losing the weight sticking around from those beautiful babies of mine.  I feel like I'm behind the 8-ball starting this next Challenge of getting myself healthy--I'm sick (still? again? forever???) and I've been crazy busy the last week planning and executing Jake's 4th birthday party!  His birthday was last week, and his party was Saturday--it was just a family party, but with 7 grandkids in our family, that turns into a full-blown extravaganza anyway!  It was a really fun time that I'll hopefully get a post up about later this week.  Today, I want to get into the nitty gritty about Challenge #2.  I'm making a softer start than I had planned--I wanted to hit it with a vengeance and really get into it on Day 1, but with me feeling so crappy, I really don't have the energy or desire to add exercise to my days just yet.  I just want to get better, and I think sleeping will help more than getting up early and getting on my treadmill while hacking up a lung.  I'm disappointed, but I'm not going to let this illness derail my attempts to be healthier...like illnesses, life, and everything else have in the past.

my previous philosophy ends today!

Let's talk shop: Where am I on this health/weight scale?  I decided to just put it all out there, to help keep myself more accountable.  I am 32 years old, 5'3" (ish) tall, and after weighing myself yesterday, I am at 163 pounds.  A quick trip to the WebMD BMI Calculator shows that for a 5'3" woman my age, my BMI is in the overweight category at 28.9--obese for me starts at 29.9.  That freaks me out a little...I'm really close to being obese.  I know that I don't feel good about myself, but seeing the numbers to back up how I feel is a bit difficult.  Apparently with my waist size (currently wearing a size 10, but I was honest with the calculator--I put in 12, since that's what I should be wearing if I weren't too lazy/depressed to buy new jeans again...), I'm more of a "pear shape" instead of an "apple shape"--carrying more weight in my legs (aka, my thunder thighs) and rear end.  This is actually good news (according to WebMD) because the most harmful fats are the ones around your midsection, and apparently, my pear shape indicates that I don't store as much fat around my midsection (although if you could see my midsection, you would see that fat is quite happy to be stored there as well).  This whole section on WebMD about my waist-to-height ratio made me feel better, actually:

"Your BMI is higher than what's considered healthy, but your waist-to-tallness measurement indicates that you are healthy. Because your current weight is within normal limits, your goal should be to stay active and healthy, aiming for a dress size of no more than 12."

So it could be worse--it's nice to hear that WebMD thinks I'm healthy, even if I'm too large for my height.  I really do try to be healthy, although I definitely acknowledge where I fall short and that I have many weaknesses.  They (and 3 babies...) are what have gotten me to this overweight place!

just putting it all out there...

I really haven't had much of a chance to research tools for weight loss, although I knew I wanted to try a food journal again since that seemed to work for me back in October (and I found it really enlightening).  A friend of mine recommended an app for my phone that has helped her...but I don't have an iPhone, and when I downloaded the app, my phone ran out of space and I was unable to send text messages anymore...hmmm.  Not working for me.  So I thought I would just do my old school Word document journal, but when I was looking at the WebMD BMI calculator, I saw that they offer a free Food and Fitness Planner to track exercise and food intake...so I signed up!  They will send me daily reminders to log my intake and help me figure out if I'm eating the appropriate food and the right amount of calories to reach my goal.

Speaking of my goal...um, I went a little overambitious on this one.  I put that I want to lose 35 pounds, and get down to 128.  I don't think I've weighed 128 since my boyfriend broke up with me in 9th grade (by disappearing with another girl while we were all on a school field trip...ouch) and I didn't eat for like a month.  FYI, that's not recommended in any way, and I wasn't trying to lose weight--I just didn't feel much like eating as an overemotional 14-year-old.  Looking back, the guy had a mullet and spent hours a day playing Doom on his computer...not sure why I was so upset over that break-up!  So yeah, when I was 14, I weighed 128 pounds.  I'm now 32 years old.  That's almost 20 years ago.  Not sure 128 is a realistic goal (or one I could maintain?), but my motto often is Go Big or Go Home.  I don't like to get a haircut that no one notices, so why would I want to put in months of effort to lose weight and be healthier and not have the crazy good results to show?  So I'm going big...35 pounds big.  That's like more than Jake or Alex weigh.  I want to lose a whole kid.  What's scary to me is that even if I lost those 35 pounds (when I lose those pounds...must think positively), I would still be in the middle of the healthy BMI range for my gender and height--so BMI would want me to lose even more???  The healthy weight range for my height is between 104 and 141 on the BMI, but c'mon, people--if I weighed 104 pounds, I would scare my children and have the perfect Halloween costume year-round.  So 128 seems like the better number when I look at it that way.  141 might be more realistic, but I feel like losing 20 pounds won't be enough for me to feel really good about what I've done.  I want the wow factor, and I think the desire to achieve that wow factor will really drive me through this Challenge.

I'll post my plan of action tomorrow, to let you in on some of the things I'm trying to help me lose the weight.  I think I may try to do some walking over naptime today, just to get back in the exercise groove, even if I can't be more vigorous until I stop coughing.  Happy Challenge #2 Start Day--wish me luck!!  :)

Must Try Harder

I have somehow managed to take the last 1.5 months off from The Good Housewife Project, which is pretty pathetic considering that I just started the Project not even 3 months ago.  I don't mean that in a blogging sense--I've tried to keep up with the blog itself, even as I've realized that I've been getting further and further from my originally stated goals...  Let's run down the list of my failures, shall we?

• After Dan informed me that he was "over chicken," I have pretty much managed not to do any cooking...although I did pull out my old standby, pancakes, the other night (predictably, Dan ate cereal instead of my pancakes).  The days after Thanksgiving, I didn't need to cook because we had so many leftovers.  Then cooking kind of went by the wayside in the craziness that was the Christmas build-up--we were super busy on the weekends, and I was totally distracted by Christmas decorating, making sure the right gifts were bought, wrapping, planning, etc...and totally forgot about dinner every single day until the kids were begging for food.  Oops.  Then we all got sick, and no one really felt like eating anything fancy...and I didn't feel like cooking because I was sick.  It's so easy to fall back into the same patterns--something I was hoping to avoid by blogging my successes (or at least attempts!).  I still don't feel well (and neither do the kids--Abby is home from school today with a fever again, so this just never ends, apparently), and one of the biggest joys of Christmas for me is that our families always gift us with restaurant gift cards.  They know how little I enjoy cooking and how eating out is one of our family splurges, so they contribute to the fund--and now I don't want to cook because I've got free meals out there waiting for me.  So I'm feeling uninspired and unmotivated in the kitchen...I'm hoping that I can step it up again here soon.  I need to figure out that dutch oven--I've found a few recipes that seem promising (albeit filled with chicken...Dan's just going to have to get over it and not look a gift chef in the mouth!), so maybe I'll give them a try in the coming weeks. 

I just got totally distracted by the phrase "look a gift horse in the mouth."  As I was typing it (and modifying it to fit my purposes, for better or worse), it seemed like one of those phrases that I've heard a million times but somehow have managed never to write...and in writing it, it felt more like something I had just made up in my head that didn't make any sense.  I was pretty sure I hadn't made that phrase up (because where would I even come up with that?), so I googled it.  My best guess was that the gift horse might bite you (a twist on the phrase "never bite the hand that feeds you"), but I was wrong.  Apparently folks were given horses as gifts in the olden days (another phrase I've said a ton but never written down), and sometimes the gift recipient would rudely check the horse's teeth in front of the gift giver.  A horse's age can be gleaned from his teeth (which also randomly explains the phrase "looking a little long in the teeth" when you want to say that someone is getting older), so inspecting the mouth of a gift horse is kind of like bypassing the birthday card and instead counting the money in the envelope right in front of the person who just handed you the card.  So Dan should just graciously accept my chicken cooking attempts and devour them like the best food he's ever eaten, basically.  Otherwise, it's clear that when my attempts are rebuffed, this gift chef closes down the kitchen, and it's hard to reopen.

• The house is in post-Christmas disarray, which normally wouldn't bother me too much, but because we've also been sick, I just feel like I desperately need to clean.  After our big clean right before Christmas, I planned to sit down and work out a cleaning schedule for the house so that I could more easily keep on top of things and not get so behind and overwhelmed by the task...but we all got sick, and the hope of a cleaning schedule quickly went down the drain.  I'm slowly attempting to recover the house (got all the ornaments and decorations put away this weekend...minus the tree, which is still standing because it's Dan's job to disassemble it and he hasn't done it yet!), so I plan to work on a cleaning schedule in the next few days so that it's ready for me when I finally do get the house cleaned.  That's probably been my problem this whole time--I want to get on a good schedule immediately after a deep clean so that I can maintain overall cleanliness longer (wow, I sound anal), but I haven't created said schedule yet...and right after a deep clean, the last thing I want to think about is cleaning again!  If I make the schedule now, I'll have it handy and ready to start as soon as the house is clean again...  I'm putting it on my docket!  I did make a list last night of things I wanted to accomplish today, and for the most part, I'm on track with crossing most things off--I think having a list is the way to go for me.

maybe if I learned how to iron, I'd learn similar enthusiasm?

• My attitude with Dan has been deteriorating...and I truly believe it's a function of being miserably sick, because I do still love him and think he's great despite my outward annoyance.  He actually called me a killjoy the other day...he called me a killjoy.  That's like the pot calling the kettle black.  Where am I getting all these weird idioms today??  That one fits, though--Dan's personality could be aptly described as unjoyful, whereas at least I smile and try most of the time.  People used to call me "perky" long ago, but those days have faded with my perkiness.  In any case, I may have been being a killjoy--Dan is approaching a big milestone in his career (the list on which his name needs to be in order for him to get promoted in the spring comes out tomorrow...), and he didn't think I was appropriately enthused.  I am enthused--a promotion is great!  What I wasn't enthused about at that particular moment is that we've been talking about this ridiculous list for 3 months:  when will it come out?  last year it came out on this day...  maybe it will come out this week?  I've heard it's coming out tomorrow! no, wait--it's not coming out for another three weeks...  the advanced list came out, but no one knows who's on it! etc, etc, etc.  It's only gotten slightly neurotic around here.  What Dan is misconstruing as lack of enthusiasm is the fact that I have so much confidence in his abilities and performance that I KNOW he's on this list without having to see it.  So it doesn't really seem like a huge announcement to me--he will be on the list tomorrow because he is awesome, and he will get promoted in the spring because he deserves it.  I will throw him a big party and maybe make him a cake (even though he doesn't like cake...it just seems like the thing to do), and be proud of him like I always am.  I am super happy that he'll be getting promoted (after we see the darn list, of course)--I just never felt there was any doubt in this fact because he impresses the heck out of me (and everyone else).  I'm a pretty bad military wife, and I'm really bad at expressing my support verbally.  I live this life and move every 2 or 3 years and put up with deployments as a show of my support, but I'm bad at jumping-up-and-down at every positive performance evaluation.  Frankly, he gets kudos at work all the time, so it's hard to amp up my excitement for each instance of positive feedback.  I know, that's my problem, and I'm working on it...  Must do better, especially with that long-awaited list coming out tomorrow!

so proud of this man

• I've been totally slacking off on working out/eating healthy...but I'm justifying my awful binging by saying that I'm living it up before I take the plunge and start behaving more like a conscientious adult and less like a kid in a candy store.  Or, more accurately, a kid in an ice cream and cookie store.  The start date for my Health Challenge is January 14th (not the 15th as previously advertised)--I just want to get through this coming weekend because it's Jake's birthday party, and then I can start tee-totaling on the fatty delicious treats.  I will start the week of the 14th off right!  I'm still trying to work out in my mind how that Challenge is going to work--what do you think?  Should I go Weight Watchers/Biggest Loser style and weigh myself in, and report my weight to you guys?  Honestly, that freaks me out a little bit (Dan doesn't even know what I weigh exactly)...but maybe that kind of public humiliation is what I need to inspire change.  I also don't want this blog to become all about my eating/exercising/weighing habits, so I'm trying to figure out if the Health Challenge gets it's own blog entry every week, every two weeks, every month, or just an occasional mention at the top of other blog entries?  I've got a week to figure out the plan and how I'm going to include it all in the blog--it's in my head, but I haven't started writing out my concrete goals yet.

 
The only part of The Good Housewife Project that I've felt good about lately is spending time with the kids--between the holidays and all of us being sick, I've spent A LOT of time cooped up in this house with them!  The boys and I have built awesome train tracks, I've helped with setting up the train table numerous times, and Abby and I have had fun bonding time as well--yesterday, I showed her how I am a master of word finds!

It's a new year, and I must get back on track with the Project.  More cooking, more pleasantry with my husband, less junk food eating, more fun with the kids...more feeling on top of things in general.  I'm putting it all at the forefront of my mind again in the hopes that I will be motivated and inspired to at least try to be a Good Housewife!

The Uncrafty Housewife

Two housekeeping notes before I get to today's blog topic:

1) I'm really glad I posted yesterday's blog post, because I think a lot of people have similar issues in their marriages, but don't discuss them...and hopefully reading some of what Dan and I work with helps those other couples feel hopeful and not alone in the fight!  With that said, I feel comfortable posting these insights into my relationship with Dan because Dan and I are in it to win it, so to speak.  I can be me and express myself through my blog without the fear that Dan and I are going to implode--no matter the challenges and obstacles we face, we always face them together and eventually come out stronger.  It's never a question for me, and I'm so lucky to have our relationship as a constant in my life.  I love him to pieces and can't imagine my life without him--and thankfully, he feels the same way about me.  We aren't perfect, but we're both good people and we're always trying...sometimes succeeding, sometimes not so much!

Mr. and Mrs., always

 
2) I know you've all been on pins and needles, waiting to hear about my next Challenge...the healthier me (weight loss) challenge.  I promised that I would get it started in 2013, and here we are in 2013!  I decided to give myself until January 15th to live my gluttonous life, before cutting myself off cold-turkey...when Dan asked me why the 15th, I said that I figured that would be how long it would take me to finish eating all the Christmas cookies.  He rolled his eyes at me, but I just can't take being healthier seriously when I have bags of my mom's cookies laying around my house!  If you've had my mom's cookies, you get it--must eat them all, then get serious.  :)  Plus, it's totally cliche to start a healthier lifestyle on January 1st along with all your other soon-to-be-forgotten New Years resolutions.  I don't want to be cliche, and I also don't want my healthier approach to life to be a resolution that falls by the wayside in a few weeks or months...so the 15th it is.  Be on the lookout for that Challenge to start after I've finished stuffing my face.

Now, on to today's post!

I am not a crafty person at all--I don't enjoy crafts, and I avoid them if at all possible.  My moms' group in Texas was all about the craft playdates, and that honestly made me want to cry--I desperately wanted friends and to get out of the house, but my extreme aversion to crafts made those playdates akin to personal torture.  I just don't have that type of creativity or patience, and I really hate messes.  I get it, all you crafty people--you think my OCD may ruin some fun for my kids...but I promise you, we have lots of fun in many other ways that don't involve glue, pipe cleaners, and glitter.  I don't even keep that stuff in my house.

just a few of the Texas craft playdates...

 
So with all that said, I'm not sure why on earth I decided that crafting something was a good idea for grandparent Christmas presents this year.  Actually, that's a lie...I do know why--because I think presents from the heart are so much better than store-bought stuff, and also because I hate shopping and am cheap.  :)  When Abby was little, she and I went to a pottery place with our moms' group in Ohio and made these awesome decorative plates that said "Grandma's Lovebug" on them with her handprint made into a ladybug.  Cutest things ever, I actually enjoyed doing it (except for the part when Abby was screaming because my prissy girl didn't like having paint on her hands...not sure where she gets that...ha!), and both grandmothers still display the plates prominently.  I was thinking about those and how it would be fun to do something with the kids' handprints or footprints for the grandparents this year.  I started googling for ideas, and of course ended up on Pinterest, where I found this really cute footprint snowman:

It is darling, and seemed straightforward and easy enough...except that we don't have any paint in the house.  I did a search of the basement and Abby's closet to make sure I hadn't hidden some somewhere (I didn't...we just don't have that stuff in the house!), and then sent Dan to the store to pick up some craft paint and laminating papers.  I thought we would make little snowmen of each kid's foot, and then laminate them and make ornaments out of them.  Easy peasy.  We took one evening and got all the supplies out--we picked pink construction paper for Abby's feet, green for Jake's, and blue for Alex's.  Now, like I said, my experience in making Abby's cute handprint plate was great except for the whole painting-her-hands part.  I was relatively sure that she would be okay with painting her feet this time around--after all, she was only 1 when we made her plate, and she's a big girl now who loves creativity in all forms.  Jake HATES that kind of thing (he's not into weird textures or things on his skin...Band-Aids are a no-go, for example), and I thought Alex might be obstinate about it as well.  But I had high hopes for a happy, easy crafting experience with all three kids.  I didn't get any pictures because all adult hands were needed to keep the paint from getting out of control, but you can imagine how it went--we did Jake first, because we didn't want to give him too much time to think about it and freak out...  He freaked out anyway, but it wasn't an all-out screaming freak-out--more of a whimpering totally-bothered-by-paint-between-his-toes freak-out.  That I can handle.  We managed to get 3 decent footprints out of him before we washed him up and moved on to Alex...who was an epic disaster!  Lots of screaming, very upset to the point where I thought we might not get his footprint at all--Dan and I had to wrench him and ourselves into odd positions to get his foot down on the paper.  I got two workable prints and washed him up fast...totally forgetting to get a third print for our own tree.  :(  He was just such a mess that we wanted it over as soon as possible.  Then Dan took the boys into the playroom and I worked on Abby myself--I figured she would be easy.  I figured wrong--she was awkward trying to stand on one foot, and paint was dripping onto the paper in places where paint wasn't supposed to be...and I got paint all over my shirt and my pants trying to help her out.  Poor planning on my part to not be dressed appropriately for crafting, but at least the paint washed out!  I asked my awesome artist husband to interpret some snowmen onto the feet prints for me--here are two that he drew:

Alex's little feet snowmen

After the drawing portion was complete, Dan had the task of backing them all on cardstock, cutting them out, and then together we laminated them.  Dan said he felt like he was cramming to get a school art project done, because of course we waited until the day before we were going to give these little guys as presents to finish the project.  We procrastinate the same as adults as we did as schoolkids, apparently.  Here are the finished products, after hours of hard work:

8 adorable little snowmen!

A simple little craft art project, which ended up being hours of pre-Christmas prep...this is why I don't craft!  But that row of cute snowmen is why I do, sometimes, take the crafting plunge--because these are keepsakes we and the grandparents will keep forever (hopefully!), and will enjoy on our trees every year.  We will marvel at how big the kids' feet have gotten, laugh at how little they once were, and not remember the screaming.  Okay, maybe that's going too far--I probably won't forget the screaming, especially since I have to make one more Alex footprint for our own tree before his foot gets much bigger...aka, Crafty Screamfest Take 2, featuring a possible Mommy-Alex scream duet!

New Year, Same Old Stuff

Last holiday season, Dan and I were having a tough time.  We weren't on the same page, or even in the same book.  It was a really hard time, with months of lead up to a boiling point in October, and spanning all the way through to Christmas.  We worked and worked together to improve our communication and be more considerate of each other, and our Christmas gift to each other last year was a 2.5-day kid-free mini-break.  We needed it to reconnect with each other--one of the biggest difficulties in our relationship is trying to maintain our identities as husband and wife (and best friends) while also trying to handle three energetic kids.  I know a lot of couples have that same difficulty, so I try not to get discouraged about it...but last year, we were so far from where I wanted to be.  My parents recognized our desperation and took the kids for us so that we could have some time to work out our troubles and just be us together without the daily stresses.  We live really close to Old Town Alexandria (a great town right outside DC), so we opted to stay close to home and go to Old Town for our little vacation.  Dan and I love exploring cities--whenever we've had a chance to get away, that's usually what we pick to do.  When we were in college, we would go to museums in DC.  Our first married Christmas, we took advantage of a layover in Dallas to stay a few days and soak up some Texas culture (before we moved to Texas and had way too much of Texas culture!).  A year after Abby was born, we escaped to Chicago for a few days to check out Frank Lloyd Wright houses and bike around the city.  When Dan graduated from law school, we treated ourselves to a few days in San Francisco, walking or riding the cable car everywhere and eating sourdough.  We have lists of cities we want to visit and explore together...but with three kids, it's harder to carve out the time to take longer trips, just the two of us.  So Old Town it was for our few days away.

a happy couple by the water in Old Town

We stayed at a boutique hotel (we try to avoid big-brand hotels when we travel, favoring more unique places) and walked King Street, loving the Christmas lights decorating the trees and the festive mood around us.  It really fed my heart to have that time with Dan to de-stress and enjoy each other--it helped reinforce that despite some of our difficulties, we were right when we chose each other.  When we click, it all makes sense--much like when we don't, it doesn't.  We ate, we walked and shopped, we relaxed.  Then we checked out of the hotel and met good friends for dinner on New Years Eve, and rang in the New Year at their house--it was a great time.  In the early days of 2012, everyone commented about how much more in sync Dan and I were--it was noticeable to folks who didn't even realize we had been going through such a rough patch.  It felt to me like a weight had been lifted a little bit, and life was easier for a while.

New Years Eve, 2012

I voiced my concern repeatedly at the beginning of 2012--my very real concern that the old ruts in our relationship are deep and easy to fall back into if Dan and I aren't diligent.  He assured me that if we were to get back into our old routine, at least now we have the tools to dig ourselves out, hopefully easier than the last time.  Now, looking back at the year, I see that my concerns were valid and did eventually ring true--we are back in our ruts.  Not as deep as we once were, but forging ahead and wearing that groove down.  Fast forward to New Years 2013, last night.  Dan and I are again at odds with each other--although it would be easy for me to be my usual pessimistic self and say that our foul moods are indicative of our relationship as a whole, I think the current issue is that we've been sick.  Being sick in close quarters for days on end has not brought out anything good in each other, to say the least (never thought I would say this, but thank goodness for school and work starting again tomorrow!).  Ever since the Good Wife Challenge, I've been feeling relatively upbeat about my relationship and my efforts with Dan...but it's a two-way street, and since I've been sick the last week or more, I haven't been politely honoring the rules of traffic.  I've been barreling ahead, grouching it up and rolling through stop signs without looking.  I am the peacemaker in our house--I'm not a doormat, but when it comes to keeping the kids happy or sacrificing for the greater good, it's usually me who makes the concessions.  Without my efforts (I feel so much less pleasant when I'm sick), the house has gone off the rails--the kids are sick and cranky, Dan is in rare form, and things have been ugly.  It's been a good eye-opener for me, because it's very clear that when I'm not trying, no one tries...  I'm reminded of why I started the Good Housewife Project, and why it's so important to me.

We got the kids to bed before 8pm last night, and I settled in for what I hoped would be a nice, low-key New Years with my husband.  I had recorded a dumb movie the night before that I had hoped we could watch together while waiting for the ball to drop--I've been in the mood for something mindless, and Dan has been in the mood for nothing I'm in the mood for.  We've just not been on the same page, again.  So when I said I wanted to watch the movie, he said he would prefer to go to the bathroom upstairs...I started the movie without him.  I watched the whole movie without him.  I watched another entire movie without him.  At 11:45pm, I was about to go wake him up (I figured he must have fallen asleep?) when he came downstairs and said he was upstairs working on a case for work and was taking a break to watch the ball drop.  Sigh.  We rang in 2013 on the couch, and as the ball dropped, I considered (as I do every year) what I wanted my first words of the year to be--in 2011, it was "I love you" to Dan over Skype while he was in Iraq and we were filled with much excitement because the dreadful 2010 was over and 2011 was the year we would get to be together again.  In 2012, we kissed with our goofy hats on and blew noisemakers with our friends, and I again said "I love you" to my husband as my first words, feeling a renewed commitment to make 2012 a happy one for our marriage.  Last night, somehow it just didn't feel like a new year already, and the ball dropped before I could formulate the perfect first words in my illness-fog mind--I ended up saying, "Happy New Year" through my sniffles, as Dan exclaimed, "And we've now fallen over the fiscal cliff!"  Hmmm...are these less-than-thoughtful words harbingers of a weird, slightly off year to come?