Must Try Harder

I have somehow managed to take the last 1.5 months off from The Good Housewife Project, which is pretty pathetic considering that I just started the Project not even 3 months ago.  I don't mean that in a blogging sense--I've tried to keep up with the blog itself, even as I've realized that I've been getting further and further from my originally stated goals...  Let's run down the list of my failures, shall we?

• After Dan informed me that he was "over chicken," I have pretty much managed not to do any cooking...although I did pull out my old standby, pancakes, the other night (predictably, Dan ate cereal instead of my pancakes).  The days after Thanksgiving, I didn't need to cook because we had so many leftovers.  Then cooking kind of went by the wayside in the craziness that was the Christmas build-up--we were super busy on the weekends, and I was totally distracted by Christmas decorating, making sure the right gifts were bought, wrapping, planning, etc...and totally forgot about dinner every single day until the kids were begging for food.  Oops.  Then we all got sick, and no one really felt like eating anything fancy...and I didn't feel like cooking because I was sick.  It's so easy to fall back into the same patterns--something I was hoping to avoid by blogging my successes (or at least attempts!).  I still don't feel well (and neither do the kids--Abby is home from school today with a fever again, so this just never ends, apparently), and one of the biggest joys of Christmas for me is that our families always gift us with restaurant gift cards.  They know how little I enjoy cooking and how eating out is one of our family splurges, so they contribute to the fund--and now I don't want to cook because I've got free meals out there waiting for me.  So I'm feeling uninspired and unmotivated in the kitchen...I'm hoping that I can step it up again here soon.  I need to figure out that dutch oven--I've found a few recipes that seem promising (albeit filled with chicken...Dan's just going to have to get over it and not look a gift chef in the mouth!), so maybe I'll give them a try in the coming weeks. 

I just got totally distracted by the phrase "look a gift horse in the mouth."  As I was typing it (and modifying it to fit my purposes, for better or worse), it seemed like one of those phrases that I've heard a million times but somehow have managed never to write...and in writing it, it felt more like something I had just made up in my head that didn't make any sense.  I was pretty sure I hadn't made that phrase up (because where would I even come up with that?), so I googled it.  My best guess was that the gift horse might bite you (a twist on the phrase "never bite the hand that feeds you"), but I was wrong.  Apparently folks were given horses as gifts in the olden days (another phrase I've said a ton but never written down), and sometimes the gift recipient would rudely check the horse's teeth in front of the gift giver.  A horse's age can be gleaned from his teeth (which also randomly explains the phrase "looking a little long in the teeth" when you want to say that someone is getting older), so inspecting the mouth of a gift horse is kind of like bypassing the birthday card and instead counting the money in the envelope right in front of the person who just handed you the card.  So Dan should just graciously accept my chicken cooking attempts and devour them like the best food he's ever eaten, basically.  Otherwise, it's clear that when my attempts are rebuffed, this gift chef closes down the kitchen, and it's hard to reopen.

• The house is in post-Christmas disarray, which normally wouldn't bother me too much, but because we've also been sick, I just feel like I desperately need to clean.  After our big clean right before Christmas, I planned to sit down and work out a cleaning schedule for the house so that I could more easily keep on top of things and not get so behind and overwhelmed by the task...but we all got sick, and the hope of a cleaning schedule quickly went down the drain.  I'm slowly attempting to recover the house (got all the ornaments and decorations put away this weekend...minus the tree, which is still standing because it's Dan's job to disassemble it and he hasn't done it yet!), so I plan to work on a cleaning schedule in the next few days so that it's ready for me when I finally do get the house cleaned.  That's probably been my problem this whole time--I want to get on a good schedule immediately after a deep clean so that I can maintain overall cleanliness longer (wow, I sound anal), but I haven't created said schedule yet...and right after a deep clean, the last thing I want to think about is cleaning again!  If I make the schedule now, I'll have it handy and ready to start as soon as the house is clean again...  I'm putting it on my docket!  I did make a list last night of things I wanted to accomplish today, and for the most part, I'm on track with crossing most things off--I think having a list is the way to go for me.

maybe if I learned how to iron, I'd learn similar enthusiasm?

• My attitude with Dan has been deteriorating...and I truly believe it's a function of being miserably sick, because I do still love him and think he's great despite my outward annoyance.  He actually called me a killjoy the other day...he called me a killjoy.  That's like the pot calling the kettle black.  Where am I getting all these weird idioms today??  That one fits, though--Dan's personality could be aptly described as unjoyful, whereas at least I smile and try most of the time.  People used to call me "perky" long ago, but those days have faded with my perkiness.  In any case, I may have been being a killjoy--Dan is approaching a big milestone in his career (the list on which his name needs to be in order for him to get promoted in the spring comes out tomorrow...), and he didn't think I was appropriately enthused.  I am enthused--a promotion is great!  What I wasn't enthused about at that particular moment is that we've been talking about this ridiculous list for 3 months:  when will it come out?  last year it came out on this day...  maybe it will come out this week?  I've heard it's coming out tomorrow! no, wait--it's not coming out for another three weeks...  the advanced list came out, but no one knows who's on it! etc, etc, etc.  It's only gotten slightly neurotic around here.  What Dan is misconstruing as lack of enthusiasm is the fact that I have so much confidence in his abilities and performance that I KNOW he's on this list without having to see it.  So it doesn't really seem like a huge announcement to me--he will be on the list tomorrow because he is awesome, and he will get promoted in the spring because he deserves it.  I will throw him a big party and maybe make him a cake (even though he doesn't like cake...it just seems like the thing to do), and be proud of him like I always am.  I am super happy that he'll be getting promoted (after we see the darn list, of course)--I just never felt there was any doubt in this fact because he impresses the heck out of me (and everyone else).  I'm a pretty bad military wife, and I'm really bad at expressing my support verbally.  I live this life and move every 2 or 3 years and put up with deployments as a show of my support, but I'm bad at jumping-up-and-down at every positive performance evaluation.  Frankly, he gets kudos at work all the time, so it's hard to amp up my excitement for each instance of positive feedback.  I know, that's my problem, and I'm working on it...  Must do better, especially with that long-awaited list coming out tomorrow!

so proud of this man

• I've been totally slacking off on working out/eating healthy...but I'm justifying my awful binging by saying that I'm living it up before I take the plunge and start behaving more like a conscientious adult and less like a kid in a candy store.  Or, more accurately, a kid in an ice cream and cookie store.  The start date for my Health Challenge is January 14th (not the 15th as previously advertised)--I just want to get through this coming weekend because it's Jake's birthday party, and then I can start tee-totaling on the fatty delicious treats.  I will start the week of the 14th off right!  I'm still trying to work out in my mind how that Challenge is going to work--what do you think?  Should I go Weight Watchers/Biggest Loser style and weigh myself in, and report my weight to you guys?  Honestly, that freaks me out a little bit (Dan doesn't even know what I weigh exactly)...but maybe that kind of public humiliation is what I need to inspire change.  I also don't want this blog to become all about my eating/exercising/weighing habits, so I'm trying to figure out if the Health Challenge gets it's own blog entry every week, every two weeks, every month, or just an occasional mention at the top of other blog entries?  I've got a week to figure out the plan and how I'm going to include it all in the blog--it's in my head, but I haven't started writing out my concrete goals yet.

 
The only part of The Good Housewife Project that I've felt good about lately is spending time with the kids--between the holidays and all of us being sick, I've spent A LOT of time cooped up in this house with them!  The boys and I have built awesome train tracks, I've helped with setting up the train table numerous times, and Abby and I have had fun bonding time as well--yesterday, I showed her how I am a master of word finds!

It's a new year, and I must get back on track with the Project.  More cooking, more pleasantry with my husband, less junk food eating, more fun with the kids...more feeling on top of things in general.  I'm putting it all at the forefront of my mind again in the hopes that I will be motivated and inspired to at least try to be a Good Housewife!