Commissary Run

I go to the commissary every week for our grocery run.  At first I thought going every week was excessive, but it's what works for our family, so that's what I do.  I tried going on different days of the week--when we first moved here, I was going on a weeknight after the kids went to bed...but that was very stressful, and Dan was never happy about me cutting out early on the bedtime process if I had to run to get there before the commissary closed.  I never wanted to lose a weekend day at the grocery store, but now I've resigned myself to the fact that the weekend is the best time to go--usually Sunday mornings, when the place is somewhat quiet, and I've had a full day to clip coupons and make my list (coupons come in the Saturday paper here, for some reason!).  I don't take the kids with me to the grocery store--for one, it's too distracting, and for two, I couldn't fit them and everything I buy in a cart!  I go so often because we eat a lot of fruits and veggies--I buy a honeydew, a cantaloupe, 4 pounds of strawberries, 2 pints of blueberries, at least 15 bananas, red grapes, at least 5 apples, cherub tomatoes, 3 red peppers, 3 yellow peppers, 3 orange peppers, broccoli, carrots, and green beans every time I go.  Writing that all out makes me feel a little crazy, but that's seriously what I buy.  When watermelon is in season, we always add that to the list, and occasionally I rotate clementines in.  Sometimes the amount of fresh food I buy amazes me!  I almost never have coupons for the produce, either, which is a bummer.

this stuff isn't cheap!

I also get our toiletries at the commissary--toilet paper, paper towels, toothpaste, vitamins, cleaning supplies, soaps, medicines, etc.  Those items along with the food we need for the week brings my weekly commissary budget to around $150.  Everything at the commissary is tax free, which is great, but they charge an operational "surcharge" that may as well be tax...overall, though, I think I save by shopping at the commissary.  The commissary produce isn't always in the best shape, though, so sometimes I have to run to the regular grocery store outside the military gates to get stuff that will last for the week.  I am not the best coupon shopper, but again, with all the fresh produce I buy, I'm not sure how I could do much better coupon-wise--I tend to save between 10-20% every week with my coupons.

I have commissary shopping down to a science now, after I don't know how many trips--at least 52, since we've lived here for more than a year!  I always start on one end of the store and make my way methodically to the other, crossing stuff off my list and checking my coupons.  Going to the commissary is often my only "outing" to myself in a week (other than my workout classes these days)--sometimes my only outing, period, as sad as that seems.  So a lot of times, I bring my iPod and totally zone out, enjoying my "me time" even though I firmly believe that grocery shopping does not in any way count as "me time."  I sing as I walk down the aisles and totally don't care if people are staring at me.  Dan thinks this is bizarre and that I must make a big spectacle of myself, but people usually just smile at me--and a lot of other folks wear iPods, too.  This past weekend, though, I somehow got off my game, even though I didn't even bring my iPod and wasn't at all distracted...I ended up heading UP an aisle that I usually head DOWN.  That doesn't seem like it would be a big deal, but for a mildly OCD person like myself, it was a mess!  Obviously, the items in the aisle are the same no matter the direction from which you approach, but getting turned around totally threw me off.  My usually-efficient grocery run became a maze of confusion until I somehow righted myself again...and I'm not even sure how I did that, even though the easiest thing to do would have been to just turn around and walk one aisle again...  I blame the fact that it was my bigger, end-of-the-month shopping trip (always cramming in a ton of expiring coupons!) and I was buying some less-familiar stuff for Dan's promotion ceremony--but no matter the cause, I was totally thrown for a while.

ha!

 
Despite my aisle confusion, I got a compliment from the bagger when checking out.  (No, that is not normal at the commissary or anywhere else!)  At the commissary, folks bag your groceries for you, and then walk with you to your car and load the bags into your car for you, in exchange for a few dollars' tip (yet another bite into my shopping budget!).  The lady bagging my groceries this weekend told me that I am very organized about how I put my items on the belt, so that it makes it easier for the baggers--ie, fruits and veggies all at the end, milk at the beginning, canned goods all together, etc, etc.  Apparently this is rare for "people of my generation."  I just told her that I have lots of practice grocery shopping--ha ha!  She was probably just angling for a good tip.  Truly, when you grocery shop once a week, you get good at it--but I wasn't honestly trying to be organized.  It just happened to be how I took things out of my cart, and I'm sure it doesn't happen every time.  It struck me as a funny thing on which to be complimented, though--apparently, I rock the commissary check-out more than my peers...you know you're jealous!

Watching my Weight

Because I know you all were curious, I was able to find edamame with no problem at the commissary yesterday!  So it wasn't me--it was the fact that they were out of stock when I was looking for it the other day...phew.  I was starting to feel kind of dumb after numerous people informed me that the commissary does in fact carry edamame.  I knew I was tired on that shopping trip, but not that tired...  So perhaps that Lemon-Thyme chicken will be on the docket this week!

Yesterday was weigh-in day, and a true weight assessment from my new scale.  Last week, I weighed 159.6 on my new scale.  This week, I weighed 158.  Since the start of the Challenge 21 days ago, I've lost 5 pounds--that's 1.67 pounds a week.  Not quite 2 pounds a week, but I think I'm doing a decent job--and hey, any loss is good in my book!  I'm getting excited about the prospect of getting under 150 in a month of so (hopefully)--I haven't been under 150 since Dan came home for his 2-week R&R from Iraq in September 2010.  I can't remember what I weighed then exactly, but I'm pretty sure it was under 150--maybe 148?  I don't know, but that's the last time I recall feeling really good about how I looked.

that's funny--I usually find my weight in the pantry

 
I didn't have a disastrous weekend on the Challenge, mostly because we didn't go anywhere with dangerous foods.  I spent 8 hours cleaning the house on Saturday--it desperately needed the cleaning, and we had friends over Saturday evening, so I wanted the house to be in good shape.  Cleaning burns a lot of calories!  Sunday, I had to do my requisite commissary shop in a record-short amount of time because Jake had a make-up gymnastics class and I needed to get home so that Dan could take him--even with finding the edamame, I was in and out in 45 minutes.  The rest of Sunday was for relaxing--I was pretty tired after my cleaning Saturday, so I sat down to watch reruns of Law & Order during naptime (Jack McCoy gets me every time!  Love me some Sam Waterston...).  Since it wasn't a DVR'd show (my usual), I couldn't fast-forward the commercials--and I ended up seeing a commercial for WeightWatchers.  Now, I'm relatively new to the whole calorie-counting thing, and I know WeightWatchers is supposed to be really easy and really great, but their whole point system confuses me.  I was wondering how adhering to their point system could be easier than just plain old counting calories when the name "WeightWatchers" struck me as kind of funny.  I know it's an idiom, as in, "Oh, I can't eat that--I'm watching my weight," but I can't figure out why "watching your weight" became a euphemism for trying to lose weight.  When I'm watching my kids all day, I'm usually not trying to lose one of them.  It seems to me that when you're not watching things, that's when you tend to lose them (at least, that would be the case with kids, keys, and anything else important).  So how watching your weight can make you lose pounds is a confusing concept for me--usually when I watch something closely, I don't notice a difference (a watched pot never boils comes to mind--although that idiom doesn't ring true, either, because if that pot is sitting over high heat, it will eventually boil no matter who is watching!).  I was watching my weight before this Challenge--yep, I was watching it go up.  I did a pretty deep google search, and could not come up with an origin for this particular phrase--I have no idea why "watching my weight" came to mean trying to lose weight.  My best guess is that some enterprising woman decided that it was a more polite and discrete way to tell folks she was on a diet.

exactly.

So yeah, this time around, I'm trying to watch my weight go down, and I'm trying to watch my mouth to make sure ice cream doesn't enter too often.  The kids are most distraught over that last point--last night, Jake said, "Please can we go somewhere for dessert?  We haven't been to ColdStone in a long time...or Dairy Queen.  I love Dairy Queen, Mommy!"  Me too, kid...me too.  I guess I just don't feel safe enough to walk into an ice cream shop yet--could I trust myself to order a kid's sized Peanut Butter Cup Perfection at ColdStone, or a mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard at DQ?  I don't know the answer to that yet.  And even those small sizes aren't good for me--don't worry, I'm not fooling myself!  We will go back again eventually, because life isn't life without the occasional splurge, but I don't know if my willpower is strong enough for that kind of assault just yet!

As an aside, I've decided that I should have been an English major in college, and my senior paper would have been titled something like this:  "American Colloquialisms:  The Origin of Idioms and Their Continued Use Long After Meaning is Lost."  It would have been a page-turner.  Ha!

Not-So-Miso Steak

Sunday was weigh-in day with my new scale, and I weighed in at 159.6.  From my previous weigh-in last week, that's almost 3 pounds down--but I'm using a new scale, so who knows what the actual loss is (but at least I can be pretty confident that it was a loss!).  159.6 is going to be my new baseline--the first time I weighed myself on my new scale.  Next week will be the true test.  The weekend again proved really hard for my calorie intake--we visited Dan's parents on Saturday, and his mom made us blueberry muffins, which I love, and brownies and ice cream for dessert!  I had no idea how bad blueberry muffins are calorie-wise until I went to put it into my log...no wonder I have a terrible time losing weight!  I also got my hair cut this week, and while Dan thinks that wouldn't count toward weight loss, if you've seen how much hair I have, you would understand--I think it contributed at least a few ounces lost!

I took the time before heading grocery shopping on Sunday to look up some new recipes--I've been saying I'm going to add new meals to the food rotation, but then I am always rushing around like crazy trying to get my grocery list together and run out to the store every weekend that I never remember to actually add to my usual list.  I googled "easy, healthy dinners," since dinner has become even more of a dilemma for me now that I'm working out three nights a week, right at dinnertime.  I need some fast, healthy stuff that I can make after or before class.  I found two recipes I thought sounded enticing, and Dan agreed to try them--so I wrote down all the ingredients for Miso Steak with Green Beans and Baby Potatoes, as well as the ingredients for Lemon-Thyme Chicken.

I still don't really know what edamame is

 
I headed off to the commissary with my list in hand--a list that included a lot of unfamiliar items, like frozen edamame, rice wine vinegar, sesame oil, and of course, the miso.  I know the commissary like the back of my hand (after all, I live there one hour every week!), so I figured the new items wouldn't be too hard to find.  Little did I know (although I probably should have guessed), the commissary is not really a place to find adventurous foods--and I didn't even think the recipes I chose were very adventurous!  My first major fail was the baby potatoes I needed for the Miso Steak meal--the commissary doesn't carry them...???  I picked up red potatoes instead, because they are smaller than Russet potatoes, and I thought they were more in the spirit of the recipe.  See, I can adapt!  Next, I found the rice wine vinegar and the sesame oil fairly easily, but miso didn't jump out at me.  It didn't help that I had no idea what miso looks like--is it a sauce?  Is it a type of noodle?  I was totally clueless.  After attempting to read every label in the aisle, I still hadn't found it...so I took my smartphone out of the commissary (I get no service inside) and googled miso.  Ah, it's a seasoning--that gave me a better idea of what to look for.  Again, I read every label, and again, I had no luck...  After what felt like an hour standing in front of that section, I decided to move on without the miso--maybe I'd find it with the other seasonings?  (Nope, no miso there.)  I kept going, picking up my normal foods as well as some other new items from the recipes (like the skirt steak for the Miso Steak recipe), and the last thing to get was the frozen, shelled edamame.  I've never had edamame before, but I have read about it a lot and know that it's a good, healthy snack--I was eager to find it and give it a try.  Of course, the commissary doesn't carry it, either--at least, not that I could find after repeated attempts down multiple aisles.  Urgh.  I headed home with everything I could find, which unfortunately was missing one crucial item from each recipe (the edamame for the Lemon-Thyme Chicken, and the miso from the Miso Steak).

I got home right at dinnertime, because the commissary took me two hours instead of one with all my wandering and searching.  Dan had wanted to make the Miso Steak for dinner, but since I couldn't find the miso, I didn't think it was an option.  I googled miso again, and discovered that some people think it has no taste--others think it has a salty or nutty taste.  The recipe only called for one tablespoon of it, so in our hunger and time-crunch, Dan and I decided to make the recipe without it.  Dan prepped the steak while I peeled and heated the potatoes, threw the steamed green beans into the microwave, and made the no-miso sauce--it really was a pretty easy meal to do, and would have been great if we weren't both frantically racing around the kitchen totally winging it since we had never made it before!  We both enjoyed the meal, as did Abby...but Jake only ate the steak and Alex ate nothing--he took one bite of green beans, declared that he loved them, and then proceeded to play with them for the rest of the evening.  Great.  We didn't feed him anything else, so hopefully with persistence, we will win this dinnertime battle and he'll learn to widen his palate a little.

Not-So-Miso Steak with Green Beans and Red Potatoes

At least I did well with my calories on Sunday!  We're looking forward to trying out the Lemon-Thyme chicken one of these days, too.

Update on the workout classes:  Friday night was my 2nd Zumba class, and it was with a different instructor than the Wednesday class--and by a stroke of luck, I discovered that a woman from my street has also signed up for these classes, so we carpooled over there together.  It was really great to not only get a workout in, but also to be social--I'm way too stuck in the house these days.  The class was fun, but this instructor's technique and moves are a lot different from the Wednesday class.  Friday's was more Latin and lots of hips, so I had a harder time keeping up with the steps, but I still enjoyed it.  Then last night was my first step class--I was very nervous about it (and more so after I told my best friend that I was doing a step class, and her response was "Uh oh..."), and let me just say, it kicked my rear end.  I wore my glasses, which I don't usually do while I work out, and my glasses were all foggy from all the heat and sweat on my face.  Gross!  It was definitely a good workout, and a lot more intense than I expected.  I'm convinced I'm going to end up missing the darn step and sprawl out on the floor, or accidentally push the step out from under myself--it could happen, because I'm just that uncoordinated.  Thankfully, that class is only once a week--I don't think I could handle it otherwise!  Bring on the Wednesday Zumba fun!

So this is Christmas...

I was rushing around trying to make dinner on Friday afternoon for one of Dan's work colleagues who just had a baby.  I saw in passing a post on Facebook about a school shooting, with maybe 1 fatality (I figured a teacher, most likely), but I had raw chicken on my hands, so I went back to my task and was generally oblivious for the next few hours while I prepped all the chicken, fruit, and veggies for Dan to pick up.  When I sat down at my computer around 3pm, my heart broke into a thousand pieces--I felt so, so sick, and then I felt frantic for my own kids.  Jake was safe playing up in his room.  Alex was still taking a nap in his crib.  Abby.  Abby was in her first grade classroom at her school, where she is supposed to be kept safe out of my protection for almost 8 hours every weekday.  She had about an hour left of school, and I just kept irrationally thinking that I needed to call Dan to go pick her up and bring her home to me.  I needed to see her, even though I knew she was okay, but I think it was just the mom in me--I just wanted to hug my baby girl when so many parents were experiencing the unthinkable and could no longer hug their sweet babies.  I eventually called Dan to simply implore that he get to the bus stop early so that just in case they were early, he was there to watch our girl get off the bus safely.  Predictably, Dan thought I was going a little overboard--I tend to immerse myself totally in these types of tragedies, and dwell on them for days...sometimes weeks...sometimes months...  He thinks this is an unhealthy OCD aspect of my personality, but I just call it compassion--I can't help it if my heart hurts when other people are hurting.  I stood at my front door in my pjs and a heavy coat, watching for Abby's bus to pull up at the top of our loop, and I could see her pink coat as she stepped off and into Dan's safekeeping.  I waited until she got out of Dan's car, and scooped her up into the biggest hug I think I've ever given her--my sweet 6-year-old, home safe in my arms.

I cried myself to sleep last night thinking about those poor families, and those precious children.  I've cried today and felt on the verge of tears many other times--I just can't shake it.  I had to go to the commissary this morning, and I felt raw--like here I was, running totally mundane errands, when the mothers of those children most likely can't get out of bed.  I was looking at the other shoppers for hints of their sadness, and I felt an overwhelming urge to be kind to everyone.  I wondered if I had the word "MOM" stamped on my forehead, if people would see me and know that because I'm a mom, my heart is broken today.  I saw the little kids that other shoppers had brought with them, heard a parent yelling at her two kids because they were messing with the cart and blocking the aisle, and wondered if those Newtown parents had similar (totally normal) moments of parental exasperation that now fill them with regret.  The commissary was playing Christmas carols over the sound system, and I felt festivity out of my reach today.  Then, over the noise in the store, I heard the chords of "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" and this lyric played loud and clear:

"A very merry Christmas, and a happy New Year.                                                                    Let's hope it's a good one, without any fear."

Without any fear.  I just don't know how I can not be fearful as a parent, and never has that felt so acute as it does right now.  So many things we take for granted with our sweet kiddos--that they'll grow up, that they'll live a full life, that they will fulfill their potential.  Abby's dance teacher sent me an email today saying that Abby is "such a good girl and a great little dancer," and that I will be amazed at how she grows as a dancer over the next few years if she sticks with it.  I told Dan about her thoughtful email, and Dan speculated that maybe Abby will grow up to be a famous ballerina (her current dream), or maybe she'll be an artist since she loves to draw.  I immediately felt guilty for contemplating a future for our girl, because other parents had that ability stolen from them--they had so many hopes and dreams for their little ones as well.  It just tears me apart inside.

I know this feeling won't last for me--I'll eventually revert to my normal flustered parenting style with plenty of yelling and time outs, but today, I just hugged Abby, Jake, and Alex as many times as they would let me, and told them over and over again how much I love them, and how special and wonderful they are.  I have the luxury of a life unshattered tonight, and of having this sadness fade over time--that community has no such luxuries.  I owe it to them to love my babies as fiercely as possible for as long as I'm given.

the loves of my life

Chicken and Rice

Since it's the week of Thanksgiving, I knew I wouldn't have much time or be able to put in much effort with dinners.  We had leftovers on Monday night from our weekend of gluttony--we ordered that pizza Friday night, went out to Panera with my old college roommate on Saturday night, and went out to lunch with Dan's parents on Sunday...we had a lot of leftovers in the fridge!  So last night, I thought I'd go with an easy old standby for me--chicken and rice.  Another staple of my childhood, it's a dish I've been cooking our entire marriage--and the dish that caused Dan's and my first memorable married fight.

this is what all newlyweds look like when they go grocery shopping

We had just gotten to Colorado Springs, fresh off our honeymoon, and I was determined to start our marriage off right...with at least some attempts at cooking.  I didn't want my new husband to know how inept I was so early on--although he had known me for 8 years by the time we got married, so I'm pretty sure I wasn't pulling any wool over his eyes with respect to my domesticity.  He married me anyway.  :)  After we got settled into our apartment, we headed to the commissary (the military term for grocery store) to stock up our fridge and pantry for the first time--there was a lot to buy!  Dan and I really had never been grocery shopping together before--sure, we'd run into 7-11 to grab cartons of ice cream after going to see a movie, but had never been on a real grocery run together.  I had a list (that's how I roll), and I had written down the ingredients of some of the meals my mom always made for my family when I was growing up so that I could start making them in my own kitchen, for my husband.  I had grand good housewife illusions!  Things were going well at the store--even grocery shopping is fun and cute when you're newlyweds.  We got to the canned soups aisle, and I stopped in front of the Campbell's Great for Cooking! soups.  I picked up a can of Cream of Celery and marked that off my list, and then I picked up a can of Cream of Mushroom.  Dan had been patient with me thus far, and we were just chatting about foods we liked to eat and meals we wanted to make, but suddenly, Dan had an objection.  He would NOT eat anything with mushrooms in it.  I tried to explain to him that you really can't tell there are mushrooms in the final dish, but he was adamant.  Then I informed him that he had, in fact, already eaten this exact dish with the Cream of Mushroom soup in it at my parents' house when we were dating, and he basically started gagging right there in the soup aisle.  I thought that was a little over-the-top, since we weren't ingesting any mushrooms at that moment, but he was beside himself at the thought that I would willingly poison him with them.  We went back and forth for a few minutes (we're both pretty stubborn, although I will say that this particular time, I was less stubborn and more petrified to stray from a tried-and-true recipe that I actually had yet to even try making myself) before we compromised and I bought a can of Cream of Chicken soup as a substitute for the mushrooms.  That's the one and only time I've ever made chicken and rice with Cream of Chicken--every time after that, I've made it as the recipe intended, with Cream of Mushroom.  Dan hasn't known the difference and hasn't been harmed by mushrooms.  ;)

Dan's worst nightmare

Chicken and Rice was the one dish I knew how to make for a long time...so I think Dan got pretty sick of it.  I haven't made it in a while (and by a while, I mean more than a year...) and figured it was safe to throw it back in the rotation.  I love it because it's a really easy meal--the prep time is really short, and there's just really not much to it (1 can of Cream of Mushroom soup mixed with 1 can of Cream of Celery soup and 1/2 can of water, poured over 4 chicken breasts in a baking dish and baked uncovered at 375 for 1 hour, served with 2 cups of rice).  It wasn't until I was preheating the oven that I realized I probably shouldn't leave the house to go pick Abby up from the bus stop while the oven was on and unattended in the house...grrrr.  I wanted to have dinner on the table around 5:15pm because I was going to let the kids have a special treat and watch the new "Sophia the First" movie that was on the Disney channel this weekend before bedtime, so we needed to have time for them to do that and still get to bed at a decent hour.  Thankfully, Dan bailed me out and picked Abby up at the bus stop, but now I know to consider the cooking time along with bus stop pick-up and plan accordingly!  I am correct that it's not a good idea to leave an oven on when I'm not in the house, right?
 

Chicken and Rice with corn and veggie stir fry

The finished product (both the food and the scene at the table) was a lot more in line with what I had been aiming for with my cooking efforts last week--everyone sitting down together at the same time enjoying dinner conversation and a good meal, and everyone eating their food!  Jake had three helpings of the chicken, and Alex even ate a few pieces of chicken, too--I consider that a massive success!!  Abby always eats what we put in front of her (such a good girl), so I knew I wouldn't have to worry about her.  All in all, it was a very pleasant evening at the dinner table with no screaming meltdowns, and I feel pretty proud of myself for the effort.  Dan even said that it was really good and Chicken and Rice has always been one of his favorite meals--clearly, he doesn't remember the commissary fight, or the fact that it has mushrooms in it.  And we have enough for leftovers tonight before the insanity of Thanksgiving food takes over tomorrow!