This weight loss stuff is hard--not just physically, but mentally as well. I oscillate between wanting to be proud of my progress, and utter fear that pride will make me complacent. I'm nowhere near where I want to be, so I feel like I can't slow down to enjoy my success so far. I have to keep my head down. 10 pounds does seem like a lot, but truthfully, I don't really see a difference in myself yet--a few people have said my face looks thinner...but having a thinner face doesn't make my clothes fit any better. We went to Dan's parents' house over the weekend, and despite feeling decent about my weight loss, I still had a rude awakening while trying to find something nice to wear--most of my clothes in my closet still don't fit me. 10 pounds isn't enough (and neither is 11.6 pounds), so I have to keep on trucking for the long haul--however long that is. I want to be able to reach into my closet with confidence that whatever I pull out will look good on me!
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| closet full of ill-fitting horrors |
I did get a nice compliment at Zumba class on Friday. I rushed in like I always do, expecting the class to be getting ready to start, only to discover that the instructor wasn't there yet. There were only 5 other women waiting for the class, which was kind of funny considering the Wednesday class had at least 40 people in it--I guess most people have better things to do with their Friday evenings...but not me! The other women and I made small talk about how our shoes were slippery from the rain outside, and how we hoped the instructor would show up soon. A woman standing behind me walked around and looked at my face and said, "You were here on Wednesday, right? You were up at the front?" I said yes, that I stand at the front when I can because I don't wear my glasses to exercise and can't see well if I'm too far back! She said, "If the instructor doesn't show up, you should just teach the class--you know what you're doing and kept up with the Wednesday instructor with no problem!" That made me laugh--I have no idea what I'm doing, and couldn't replicate a single Zumba song, much less an entire class! But it was nice to hear that at least to the other participants, I don't look like a total idiot. :) Since there are no mirrors in our class, I can't tell if the folks behind me are struggling or rocking it (or if I'm struggling or rocking it, for that matter)--and I kind of like that I can't see anyone else, because then I can just focus on me and doing what I need to do to get a good workout.
Back to the grind again this week, and it's going to be a crazy week at that...I'm just hoping I can keep up with everything. On top of our normal activities, Jake has a dentist appointment on Tuesday, Dan's mom is spending the night one night so that she can go with Dan to a work thing early the next morning, and then my mom is spending the night another night so that she can help me make a cake and a million cupcakes for Dan's promotion ceremony. (Yes, I am making a cake...no grocery store cake!) I think we have also come to a compromise about the ceremony as well--the boys will stay home with my mom, and Abby will attend with us. Dan had a change of heart when we realized that we have to be at the ceremony for more than an hour, not the half-hour in-and-out that we originally envisioned. 30 minutes might have been doable for the boys, but an hour had meltdown written all over it! So hopefully the cake will turn out well and I'll get to enjoy the ceremony with my husband...I just need to get through this week!
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